Bigfoot Erotica Not Just A HoaXXX (NSFW)

01/15/2014 02:18 pm ET | Updated Jan 25, 2014
  • Hilary Hanson The Huffington Post

You know what they say about guys with big feet.

Sasquatch-themed erotica has been around awhile, but the hilariously hairy phenomenon has lumbered its way into the mainstream.

Last month, Business Insider spoke with Virginia Wade, an author whose specialty is smut starring the creature even more elusive than the G-spot.

Wade's magnum opus is arguably the 3-volume, 16-book "Cum For Bigfoot", though she had to change the title to "Moan for Bigfoot" last year, after Amazon and other retailers began cracking down on more explicit self-published e-books.

bigfoot

“From within the tufts of matted hair, the creature released a huge pale c**k that defied logic," reads one excerpt from the series.

Oh yeah, did we mention Wade claims to be making between $6,000 and $30,000 a month?

A steamy passage from Volume 2, which features sex-squatches with sensual names like "Leonard" and "Dale," reads:

"Our mornings always began like this, my warm body buzzing with arousal. My Sasquatch lovers, who had an almost insatiable appetite for sex, would pleasure me shortly."

smokin

We know what you're thinking: "Between this and dinosaur erotica,why don't I start writing some bizarro porn and rake in the cash myself?" If Internet comments are any indication, this seems to be the near-universal response to the subject. But CAN any average Joe produce Sasquatch smut on par with the pros?

To test it out, we got Weird News associate editor Sebastian "Don't Stop Yeti" Murdock to try his hand at cryptozoological sleaze. Take the following quiz and see if you can tell which passages are the real deal.

Also on HuffPost:

The Legend of Bigfoot Continues

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