CHICAGO
01/17/2014 10:25 am ET Updated Jan 25, 2014

World's Worst Burglar Tries To Pull Way Through Door Marked 'PUSH'

If all burglars were like this guy, security companies would be out of business.

Faced with a seemingly easy-to-solve problem -- a door -- this would-be robber at a bar in Chicago's trendy Wicker Park neighborhood couldn't quite figure it out.

He pulled. And pulled. And pried with all of his might for seven straight minutes, notes CBS Chicago. Even though the door was actually unlocked, no amount of pulling seemed to help.

Turns out the door just needed a push.

"It's much funnier on the video, but the still shots show him pulling on the door." Joe Lin, owner of The Shambles, the perp's target, told Chicago's DNAInfo. "He could have pushed it."

In a scene seemingly straight from an episode of The Three Stooges, a sticker on the outside of the door clearly reads "push."

Take note, kids: Brute force is never a substitute for literacy.

WATCH a longer clip of the security footage, below:

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