Huffpost Comedy

37 Things In Your Home To Get Rid Of Right Now

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A few of us made resolutions this year to finally get our homes nicely organized so we can finally have people over without being ashamed. Like every other resolution, this one was doomed from the start. If you're an adorably disorganized type, it can be very difficult to change one's habits...especially if you don't know where to start.

Consider this your guide to starting. Here are 37 things that you probably have in your home that you can easily get rid of (recycle, trash, donate, whatever works) without a second thought.

  • The near-empty ice cream carton in the freezer
  • The extra packet of buttons that came with a cardigan that you've since donated
  • Stained t-shirts you've had since college
  • The ratty towel you've been using in lieu of a bath mat
  • Holiday cards
  • The treasure trove of plastic grocery bags under your sink
  • plastic grocery bags
  • Unidentified foil-wrapped things in your fridge or freezer
  • 2013's calendar
  • Promotional mugs or glasses that came free with a meal
  • Piles of ticket stubs, old transit passes, etc., to concerts, movies and places you don't really remember going to in the first place
  • Any receipts that have accumulated in your pockets or purse (unless it's something you'll need come tax time)
  • All the stacks of magazines you haven't touched in months
  • magazine stack
  • Expired coupons/savings passes
  • Any envelope that you've kept only because you needed to remember the address (just add it to your phone/contacts list)
  • All the half-scrawled lists, notes and post-its reminding you of things you have no idea about
  • Old invitations for things not involving treasured family members or friends
  • Anything you've agreed to take from your parents' house solely out of guilt
  • Hobby supplies for hobbies you've given up on (donate it)
  • Journals, notebooks and other writing pads you've used maybe twice and then given up on
  • journals
  • Old textbooks
  • Paperback novels that didn't change your life
  • VHS tapes, cassettes and DVDs that did not change your life/entertain you
  • Printed recipes you tried, didn't like and saved anyway
  • Expired medicines
  • Office supplies you never use, such as pens that no longer work
  • bic pens
  • Cheap accessories which have since become a tangled mess of tackiness
  • Any plastic storage container that doesn't have a lid
  • Empty coffee canisters
  • Old batteries
  • Instruction manuals for appliances you know how to use
  • Near-empty booze bottles containing one pathetic shot
  • liquor bottles
  • Tea that's more than a few months' old -- you don't need to drink steeped dust
  • Party favors from weddings (people really should stop with those)
  • Miscellaneous cables, cords and wires (just make an attempt to match them first)
  • Discount/shopper loyalty cards to places you don't even shop at anymore
  • The weird secret stash of chopsticks acquired from all those times the sushi place thought you were ordering for 4 people, not 1
  • The stash of duck sauce, ketchup, hot mustard and soy sauce packets
ketchup packets

After you trash, donate or give away...maybe try really cleaning.

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Around the Web

How to De-Crapify Your Home: A Start-to-Finish Guide - Lifehacker

How to Get Rid of Clutter: 8 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow

10 Ways to Get Rid of Your Stuff (and a garage sale isn't one of them ...

Get Rid of Clutter and Organize Your Home - Oprah.com

7 Tips to Get With a New Minimalist Mentality - Houzz

What's the best way to get rid of my old stuff? - Home and Garden

Discardia: Getting Rid of Stuff

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