TASTE
02/10/2014 07:08 am ET Updated Feb 11, 2014

10 Terrifying Vintage Hellmann's Mayonnaise Recipes (PHOTOS)

Hellman's

When it comes to mayonnaise, people have strong feelings. Some of you can't stomach the mere thought of it and others of you love it so much you even add it to your PB&J. (This is not okay, by the way.) Regardless of where you stand on the mayonnaise issue, we're sure that when it comes to the Hellmann's mayonnaise vintage recipes, everyone -- mayo lovers and haters alike -- can agree that they're an assault to all that is good and right about food, if not the world in general.

Lucky for the planet, most of these vintage recipes died out with the close of the decades that produced them. (We're not sure we would want to live in a world where cranberry candle salads made with mayonnaise was a normal thing to order off a menu.) And lucky for Hellmann's, the company has stopped trying to be a culinary game changer -- and have quit trying to convince us to eat mayonnaise with our fruit -- because we're not sure the world would have supported it much longer. Behold, the worst vintage recipes ever made.

  • 1 Skippy & Hellmann's
    There are some seriously questionable sandwich ideas here, because of course, they all combine peanut butter with mayo. But the "double crunch" sandwich, with bacon and pickles, has really got our stomachs turning.
  • 2 Hellmann's Cake
    Watch out people! Hellmann's has made its way into our beloved chocolate cake.
  • 3 Hellmann's Treasure Chest Salad
    This fruit salad isn't like any other fruit salad out there. First of all, it's served in a "treasure chest" made out of pineapple (which is impressive for sure). Second of all, the last step of the recipe asks that you "gild the salad with Hellmann's" which is not so impressive. All we want to know is WHY? Who out there really thinks that mayonnaise has any business getting together with fruit.
  • 4 Cranberry Candle Salad
    Yes, this edible salad is also a candle. Hellmann's has really upped the ante.
  • 5 Cranberry Surprise
    Hellmann's, just stay away from the cranberries already!
  • 6 Party Potato Salad
    We've shared this one with you before, but it's such a sight we had to share it again.
  • 7 Monterey Souffle Salad
    ACK, this salad's looking at you!
  • 8 Mayonnaise Biscuits
    Skip the butter, add the mayonnaise. In what planet does that sound like a good idea?
  • 9 Treasure-Basket Salad
    We've seen the treasure chest salad, now make way for the treasure-basket salad. The treasure inside this salad is a daring combination of cottage cheese and mayonnaise.
  • 10 Mayonnaise On Burgers
    We've got nothing against mayonnaise on a burger, but here are about seven ways that mayonnaise can ruin one.

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