There's a lot of foodie hate in the world. If you google "annoying foodies," you'll come across pages and pages of people who vehemently attack this modern day food lover, from reputable publications too. (Think New York Times and The Atlantic.)
You know who they -- or you -- are. The foodie is the person whose only hobby is food; who thinks of nothing but food; who wears their love of food like a badge of honor; and who unfortunately sometimes thinks that makes them a little bit special. They forget that, well, everyone else in the word knows about food too because we all have to eat.
But we're not here to attack our fellow food lovers -- no matter how annoying some of them can be. Because while the label foodie does make our skin crawl, underneath it all, it's about a love of food. And that's all we care about. What we do want to discuss today are a few pieces of advice we think every stereotypical, self-proclaimed foodie could benefit from in the hopes that we can all get along.
If you're the food geek who is a little too trigger happy in front of your plate of foie gras, read on. This list is for you.
The breakfast tastes just as good at the not-so-trendy place across the street
Jason Segal said it perfectly, and we tend to agree. There's nothing worse than waiting to eat your first meal of the day -- just don't put yourself through that, please.
Just because you eat EVERYTHING doesn't mean you should judge those who are gluten free, vegetarian or on any other specialized diet
Sure, you might eat offal for lunch and pork belly for dinner, but that doesn't make you a better person/food lover. Not only is everyone entitled to eat what they're comfortable with, but some people are on those diets based on health reasons -- it's not a choice at all.
Don't spend all your disposable income on what you eat
Flickr: Shutter Ferret
We aren't financial advisors, but spending all your money on food just doesn't seem like a good idea. One day you're going to need it, and the tasting menu you had at Per Se isn't going to lend you a helping hand. You might want to put some aside for a rainy day, just sayin'.
Please, just stop with the photos
Flickr: iiVI turnaround
We've all heard it before: no one cares to see what you eat. While we are the first to admit that if we see an awesome batch of donuts, we can't help but take a picture. But there's a line people, and taking a picture of every meal you eat is the surest way to cross it. It's all about moderation.
Just because it's different/new/strange, doesn't make it good
We're looking at you ramen burger. Does this burger really benefit from having a bun made out of ramen? Really?? We're not saying the ramen burger doesn't taste good, we just think the hype (and lines people wait in for one) is a little out of control. And unfortunately the foodie is to blame.
It might be called Parmigiano in Italy, but it's just parmesan in the US
Guys, it's even more impressive to know how to pronounce the cheese, wine or pastry in your own language.
There is very little on earth worth waiting in line for five hours
We're looking at you Cronut fanatics. Wouldn't you rather just pop in and out of a bakery, eat a regular croissant and be done with it?
Just Because You Can Make It From Scratch Doesn't Mean You Should
We're all for homemade cookies, or even homemade butter, but when you start experimenting with kombucha and prosciutto -- where you could easily make something that might make you sick -- you're probably going too far. Some things should be left to the professionals.
Yes, the curry in India might be so much better than anything we've ever had
But not everyone can make it to India to try the real thing. And some of us would rather have the next best thing than nothing at all.
Everyone else in the world your age has eaten approximately exactly the same number of meals you have
Flickr: ♔ Georgie R
Everyone eats, and you're not any more special for talking about it more than the rest of us do.
Throwing around the names of the latest hot chef does not impress us
Actually, most of the time it just confuses us because we have no idea who you are talking about. We love chefs. We adore them and appreciate them for the great work they do. But that does not mean that we need to idolize them (at least not all of them).
You don't have to buy all your ingredients from farmers markets, local butchers and artisanal shops
Really, it's okay. We know how expensive they can be. Trust in Stop & Shop (Publix, Krogers or your regional equivalent) for the essentials, and go to gourmet shops for the more special ingredients. Your bank account will thank us.
We're tired of hearing this: While I normally love Fullsteam, it's got nothing on Sixpoint.
Flickr: Simon Cocks
Can't a beer just be a beer.
Just because it's the most expensive version of something, it doesn't mean it's the best
Is a burger that you spent $25 dollars on really going to be that much better than the one you can get at Five Guys?
No one ever enjoys your condescension when you say, "WHAT??? You mean you've NEVER had [insert obscure food/drink reference here]?
And then look at them as if they have two heads. Just because you've had -- and loved -- Burmese tea leaf salad, doesn't mean that the rest of us should.
When you tweet at David Chang or Anthony Bourdain, it doesn't make you their friend. It makes you their groupie.
Isaac Brekken via Getty Images
Just in case you were confused.
You don't have to eat at every hot new restaurant that opens
If you find yourself rushing to try the latest hot ramen place, even though you don't really like ramen all that much, you might want to stop and think about what you're doing. You don't have to try every, single restaurant that opens. Don't even bother trying. Just eat what you like, and let the ramen lovers try the trendy new place.
You don't need a tote bag from EVERY farmer's market you've ever shopped at to wear as a badge of honor
Flickr: Pictures from GTB
We're happy that you're buying fresh, local produce, but it isn't a new or unique experience for most of the world. So there's really no need to brag.
Sometimes, coffee can just be coffee
We're not going to lie, we like ourselves some fine coffee (and bonus points when there's latte art). We get down with the pour over and French press. Some of us might even have a coffee subscription. But that doesn't mean that you should snub your nose at Dunkin' Donuts or the endless cup from the corner diner. And you should know that no cup is worth a 30 minute wait.
You're not the first person in the world who decided to support local food
Flickr: Saucy Salad
We're glad you're doing it, just don't think it makes you better than the people around you.