Why Worrying About 'Having It All' Is Bad For Women

02/20/2014 04:34 pm ET | Updated Feb 20, 2014

To an outsider, it probably looks like Crystal Brown-Tatum has everything.

"As an African American woman, business owner, mother, army wife, I wear so many hats, and on the surface, people may think, 'Well, she has it all,'" she told HuffPost Live's Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani.

The ideal of "having it all" has long been a point of contention among women, but Brown-Tatum prefers to keep those words completely out of her vocabulary.

"I hate the term 'having it all' because it implies that who you are and where you are in life is not enough," she said. "While you may be happy and you're at a good point in your life, if you adopt the mindset that you do not have it all, then you're constantly struggling. You're constantly in that race with yourself to acquire more things, to accomplish more things, and you really can't enjoy where you are."

See the full HuffPost Live conversation about women who say they already have it all in the video below.

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