ARTS & CULTURE
02/21/2014 09:08 am ET | Updated Feb 27, 2014

20 Awesomely Weird '90s Toys That Would Never Be Invented Today

The almighty decade that was the '90s was jam packed with many awesomely questionable fads, from tiny buns to Crystal Pepsi, that the future did not take kindly to. The world of toys was no different.

From the demonic creatures affectionately known as Furbies to the irrationally terrifying board game that is "Don't Wake Daddy!," the popular toys of the '90s were their own particular brand of creepy. Whether they're unsafe, dated, bo-ring or just plain bizarre now, most of these gems would never fly in Toys "R" Us labs today. But don't worry, we're resurrecting them here. Behold, 20 toys sold in the '90s that just don't make sense in the 21st century.

1. Gooey Louie. "Pull the gooeys out of Louie and win!" The '90s was definitely the decade of the booger.

2. Baby Sinclair. As if this lil' dino couldn't get any more horrifying, he talks when you pull his string.

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3. Gak. Hell hath no fury like a parent who found Gak smushed between the couch cushions.

4. Pogs. Everyone had them. No one knew what to do with them.

5. Tamagotchi. It's a cruel world when you kill your first "living" creature before age 10.

6. Tickle Me Elmo. Let's face it, kids of the 2010s just won't understand this toy.

7. Bop It. Holler if the noises of Bop It's past still haunt your dreams.

8. Beanie Baby Heart Tag Protectors. We all remember Beanie Babies, but what about the strange phenomenon that turned kids into mini collectors? We haven't treasured anything so dearly since.

9. Easy Bake Oven. If you let your kid play with one of the original Easy Bake Ovens (created before the 2000s), you basically allowed them to eat raw eggs on the daily.

10. Creepy Crawlers Bugmaker. The "boy" version of the Easy Bake Oven... a Bugmaker. It's certainly not as exciting as the box lets on.

11. Dream Phone. Bringing you all the anxiety and misery of dating years before you really experienced it.

12. Don't Wake Daddy. Whatever sick, twisted mind came up with this board game is a deranged genius.

13. Furbies. They say, "Me love you," but they can't be trusted.


'90s Bonus: Can you spot the young Degrassi star in this commercial?

14. Polly Pocket. So much fun until you lost your favorite part in like four seconds, and potentially swallowed it. (Have you noticed how much bigger Polly and her accessories are these days?)

15. Water Snakes. These fun toys may remind you of small, slippery bags filled with water that do nothing cool at all, but don't be fooled. They're toys!

16. Puppy Surprise. Puppies just burst forth from their mothers' velcro-laden abdomens. We wonder how many "talks" resulted from the anatomical inaccuracies of "Puppy Surprise."

17. Dear Diary. Don't all the kids just have iPhones now?

18. Mr. Bucket. You put balls in the bucket. Balls spew out of the bucket. Repeat.

19. Crossfire. This dystopian board game vaguely takes place "sometime in the future" (relative to the late 1980s and '90s). We must not be there yet, because this generation surely wouldn't be down for a "rapid fire shoot-out game."

20. Skip It. They look so simple. And yet they destroyed us. Damn you, Skip Its.

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