Huffpost Taste

Our Most Regrettably Bad Food Delivery Orders Of All Time

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Tohoku Color Agency via Getty Images
Tohoku Color Agency via Getty Images

Friends: we've just been alerted that America should once again brace itself for a frigid blast of arctic air. This winter feels like it might just never end, but at least we're getting really good at hunkering down with hot toddies.

In light of this most depressing forecast, we'd like to do two things: 1) remind you that if you order delivery during a snowstorm, a hurricane, or on a day when the wind chill dips below what is humane, you need to tip your delivery person with the generosity of 1,000 Mother Teresas, and 2) memorialize some of our most regrettable delivery orders of all time. These orders were either ill-timed, ill-conceived, not suited for delivery in the first place or made us feel worse than when we started. If we save just one of you from re-creating our nightmares, we'll have done our good deed for the day.

Without further ado, your HuffPost editors' worst delivery orders of all time (all answers are anonymous to protect the dumb-dumbs among us):

  • 1
    "3 chili-cheese dogs with a side of cheese fries." -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 2
    Pizza AND meatball sub AND calzone, because I just couldn't decide. – Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 3
    Jupiterimages via Getty Images
    "I thought there was a universe in which a medium rare steak with over easy eggs from the diner down the street would actually arrive to our apartment intact and taste good. (It didn't and it didn't.)" -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 4
    A six pack of Coors light, four bags of Funyuns and two Philly Cheesesteaks -- from the deli across the street. – Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 5
    Image Source via Getty Images
    "Tacos and burritos. They always show up cold and soggy and inedible, yet time and again I think it might work out." -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 6
    "I got amped up for ordering takeout Chinese and when I got it, I found that the chicken was too chewy and dark, AND the mystery contents of my egg roll tasted like trash, leaving me with the complementary box of white rice, which was mediocre at best." – Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 7
    Debbi Smirnoff via Getty Images
    "After a wine-fueled marathon of watching Game of Thrones, we ordered:

    30 (yes, THIRTY) buffalo wings
    2 ENORMOUS crab cakes
    Some fried oyster mess
    2 orders of cheesy bread
    Old bay butter on the side

    This was in Maryland, hence all the seafood. We didn't even come close to eating it all... there were only two of us." -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 8
    I (while sober) once ordered a sandwich that had chicken fingers, jalapeño poppers, mozzarella sticks and, puzzlingly, a wedge of iceberg lettuce on it. It seemed like a good idea, but while the sandwich shop had ingenuity on its side, it did not have the skill to pull off such a technical feat. Despite the disgusting factor, a past life from the Great Depression kicked in and I somehow ate this thing over the course of a couple days. At some point, it was no longer a sandwich but a terrible character-building challenge. It won. We will always remember the Alamo. – Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 9
    Juanmonino via Getty Images
    "Was really hung over in the middle of a huge snowstorm and ordered some amazing thick crust pizza from a local joint. They forgot the sauce. I ate it anyway, quietly sobbing between bites." -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 10
    One night, while I was living in the East Village, I went out drinking with a friend from out of town, after after-work happy hour, and got very wasted. I was obviously hungry as we stumbled home. So when I got home, I laid down in my bed and called a cherished pizza place about 200 feet from my apartment. I wanted pepperoni, but I knew that my friend and roommate were both vegetarian, so I decided to order an "extra extra large" pizza that was half pepperoni and all BASIL, because that was the only non-meat item I could think of. I paid by credit card over the phone, begging the deliveryman to "hurry!" Then I promptly passed out, still clutching the credit card, wearing all my clothes and shoes. When the pizza arrived, my friends tried to wake me up, to no avail. So they ate the vegetarian half of the pizza while I slept. – Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 11
    "Nachos in the middle of that really big snow/rain storm a week ago. Took like two hours, and you can only imagine how soggy they were once they arrived." -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 12
    Once I ordered a blue cheese burger -- it came with nothing on it (not even lettuce) and a side of blue cheese SALAD DRESSING. And I ate it. – Anonymous HuffPost Editor
  • 13
    "I ordered steak tartare from a Chinese restaurant? Needless to say, I don't think it was steak." -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor

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