WEIRD NEWS
02/28/2014 11:24 am ET Updated Feb 28, 2014

The World's First 'Sexual Home Appliance' Will Haunt Your Dreams

Vorze

Don't look directly into it! It's too late. The A10 Cyclone Standalone already has your soul.

The new Cyclone isn't marketed as a sex toy. Vorze is calling it a "sexual home appliance" with hopes that it'll show up in electronics shops. We're not really sure what that means, but we recommend steering clear of the frappe setting.

As far as new-age sex "appliances" go, though, this hardware has plenty of bells and whistles, Kotaku reports. It's bluetooth enabled and you can share your speed and rotation settings with your friends online. Vorze hopes that one day adult entertainment companies will release Cyclone data to go with their films.

We hope Game of Thrones releases episode-specific Cyclone data, too. That show is great.

It's expensive at $300. Luckily, our friends over at TechCrunch tried an older model of the Cyclone so you don't have to. Reporter John Biggs writes:

I personally didn’t like the sensation. It’s kind of all-encompassing and you get quickly overwhelmed. I mean seriously, people. This is a motorized tenga jar. We’re not talking butterfly kisses. You either like it or you don’t. If you can’t handle lots of stimulation at once, maybe stay away.

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