03/14/2014 08:29 am ET | Updated Mar 14, 2014

9 Ways Floppy Bacon Ruins Everything (PHOTOS)

Flickr: kjetil_r

We're the first to admit that it takes a special skill to cook perfect bacon. You have to be attentive. And you have to understand how to work with bacon fat. There are common mistakes you'll want to be sure to avoid. But even if you haven't mastered bacon, that doesn't mean that you should be making it floppy. Or worse, eating it floppy.

You all know what we mean when we say floppy bacon. It's bacon that's not only chewy -- which is already wrong -- but that still has gristly fat on it. Not only is the texture 100 percent offputting, but it's also a blatant reminder of good bacon fat that has gone to waste. This is a meat-eating sin. That bacon fat was meant to cook the meat to perfection, and now it just sits there, limp, bringing the whole bacon party down.

The only thing that's worse than floppy bacon is when people try to sneak floppy bacon into our favorite bacon-filled foods. (To avoid this, ask for your bacon well done -- it works.) Here are nine most common ways floppy bacon ruins perfectly good meals. We hope they don't happen to you.

  • 1 On top of burgers
    Flickr: avlxyz
    In the meat-eating world, placing floppy bacon on a burger is a very serious offense.
  • 2 Along side your eggs
    Flickr: The Integer Club
    No thank you. Please try again.
  • 3 (Especially when it can look like this...)
    Flickr: ultrakml
  • 4 In a BLT sandwich
    Flickr: wickenden
    No one's looking for a FBLT. So keep floppy out of it.
  • 5 On top of pizza
    Flickr: darioalvarez
    We didn't think anything could ruin pizza. But floppy bacon just did.
  • 6 Wrapping stuffed dates
    Flickr: Shannon Clark
    NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
  • 7 (Because this is how you do bacon-wrapped dates justice.)
    Flickr: pirateyjoe
  • 8 In a breakfast sandwich
    Flickr: avlxyz
    Stop making our mornings harder, floppy bacon.
  • 9 Wrapped around a scallop
    Flickr: Fuzzy Gerdes
    Everything is wrong here.
  • 10 Garnishing a cake
    Flickr: Moresheth
    Bacon in desserts is weird. But if you're going to do it, at least don't make it floppy.
  • 11 Snuck into Cobb salads
    Flickr: aprilandrandy
    Yes, we noticed. We always notice when bacon is done bad. So please, let's put an end to floppy bacon.

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