Huffpost Divorce

5 Things You Need To Know About Happiness After Divorce

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There's no way around it: Your life is going to irrevocably change should you decide to go forward with your divorce.

How it changes is entirely up to you, though. Will splitting up be a springboard for a bold new start -- or will divorce slow you down and make you feel like a lesser version of your former self?

On Monday, Redditors made a strong case for divorce as a catalyst for positive change, after a man on the cusp of separation came to the site's divorce board looking for answers and advice.

"Is anyone out there happier a year after the divorce?" he asked. "Should I give [my wife a divorce] and enjoy what little time I will get with my children? Will I be happier without her in the long run?"

The divorced Redditors seemed to think so. Read five things divorcés on the thread admitted about happiness after divorce, then head to the comments and tell us if you're happier a year (or years) after your split.

1. You'll certainly have rough days every now and then, but sadness won't be your norm for long.

"My one-year-after divorce [anniversary] is only two weeks away and I can't remember a time in my life that I have been happier. I have more confidence, I have a sense of inner peace, I am free to pursue my dreams, old and new, and I have found myself able to live every day for my own joy and happiness. I still have days when the darkness creeps in and it hurts, but happy days far outweighed the [dark days]." -kintsukuroisparrow

2. If you reclaim your happiness, you'll be a better parent.

"I divorced in October of 2012. I'm the happiest I've ever been, ever. I've also got two kids, ages 8 and 12, and was staying in it for them. I'm a much happier person and as a result a better father. If you're miserable, your kids pick up on it. 'Staying in it for the kids' is only making everyone, including the kids, miserable." -vbfronkis

3. You might not be happy about being a divorcé, but you'll be happier in general.

"Happy I'm divorced? No. Happy I'm divorced from her? HELL YES." -2stroker

4. You'll likely have happier relations with your ex.

"For me, personally, hell yes I am happier. My ex and I get along so much better. Our communication has increased tenfold. There are no more emotions tied to our communication which helps. The power struggle, the fighting over stupid stuff, and irritation related to seeing each other every day and sharing the same space is gone. We get along like old friends. Is it perfect? No. But we found a way to make it work." -feelingfroggy123

5. You have to choose happiness after divorce.

"The thing with life during and after divorce, in my opinion, is that it is what you make of it. You choose whether you wallow in it or rise above it. You choose how much you carry with you on a daily basis. You choose if you learn and grow or keep looking behind you. No one else has that power, not the ex, not the attorneys, not your friends or family, you, and only you, get to decide that." -kintsukuroisparrow

See what our readers had to say when we asked them if they were happier after their divorce:

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After Divorce: 8 Tips for Reinventing Yourself - WebMD

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