But we're totally willing to overlook those minor flaws, if they mean we get to zip straight from Point A to Point B in everyone's favorite mode of transport: the taxi cab.
Here are 24 ways to tell if you too share the addiction.
1. You spend more on cabs than you do on both food and clothing combined.
2. You've memorized exactly which street corners tend to have high cab concentrations, and which are dark voids of cab-less nothingness.
3. You get your daily weather forecasts (and movie reviews, and local news) from Taxi TV.
4. You’ve often stayed out later than you really wanted to on purpose, just so you had an excuse to take a cab instead of walking/bus-ing/subway-ing home.
5. You can calculate a 15 percent tip in your sleep.
6. And you ACTUALLY can't even deal when your cabmates take a zillion years to figure out how to scan their credit card through the payment screen.
7. Cabs double as your dressing room-- they’re where you get ready for life's major events.
8. ...and you've changed clothes in a cab at least once.
9. You actively LOL at the nimwit tourists who don’t understand that cabs are only available when their little roof light is on.
10. It is your life goal to find the Cash Cab.
11. You frequently advise your cabbie on the best route to take… and you follow along on your phone's Google Maps to make sure he’s not cheating.
12. You’ve lost at least one iPhone, umbrella, scarf or cashmere glove to the endless backseat abyss of CabLand.
13. ...but you’ve located at least one lost iPhone by cunningly tracking down your taxi driver via the cab ID number on your receipt.
14. Taking Uber kind of makes you feel like you’re cheating on cabs. And that makes you feel bad for them.
15. You’ve made a lifelong, spirit-animal friendship with at least one driver while spontaneously spilling your life story to him at 2 a.m.
16. Upon arriving in a new city, you know you should walk around and see the sights… but instead you just do it by cab.
17. You’ve actually thought about how cool it would be to take a taxi to some far-off destination… like, oh, across the country, for example.
18. You have head a small meltdown and/or shed tears when you couldn’t find a cab late at night.
19. You pretend to be all bummed when you hear the subway is shut down, but inside you’re leaping for joy because YOU GET TO TAKE A CAB!
20. You pregame extra-hard before going out so that you can “save money” and take a cab later.
21. You can find a reason to take a cab in every season: winter is too cold, summer is too hot, fall is too rainy, and spring is too… too... WHATEVERLETSJUSTTAKEACAB.
22. You can correctly answer ever question on Taxi TV’s "Jeopardy!" game.
23. You can pretty much always guess, down to the nearest dime, precisely how much it will cost to get home from any point in the city.
24. You never, ever want to buy a car-- because no vehicle could ever replace the immense, deep, lasting love you have for cabs.
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