WOMEN
04/11/2014 12:30 pm ET | Updated Apr 11, 2014

Lesbian Porn Is Bad Because Lesbian Sex Is Great

Amaia Castells via Getty Images

Slate writer Vanessa Vitiello is concerned about the dire state of lesbian pornography. Why isn't there more of it? she wants to know. And why don't more of us watch it? Vitiello was unable to find any research into the porn-viewing habits of queer ladies, and I haven't had any more success — science, we're gonna need you to step it up — but in the meantime, as a non-porn-watching lesbian, I have some thoughts on why this might be.

First of all, as Vitiello points out, most of what's described as “lesbian” porn is made to be consumed by straight men, and it is... awful. The inch-long fingernails? The insanely awkward cunnilingus, which primarily demonstrates how far porn stars can stick out their tongues? The lack of diverse body types and gender presentations? Nope, nope, no thank you. If this substandard product is your first exposure to on-camera girl-on-girl action — as it is for nearly everyone, since you can hardly turn on your computer without seeing the stuff — no one could fault you for swearing off porn forever and only masturbating to Buffy reruns or white-noise machines.

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