What 'Grey's Anatomy' Taught Me About Moving On Post-Split
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If there's ever a time you need a little distraction in your life, it's during the divorce process. That's why we launched our Divorce Care Package series. With each post, we'll show you what things -- books, movies, recipes -- helped others relieve stress in the midst of divorce, in the hopes that a few of their picks will serve you well, too. Want to share what got you through your divorce? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @HuffPost Divorce
Divorce is often so dramatic, you need something to put your problems in perspective. When things started to get a little too intense for PR specialist Jennifer Allemann, she turned on her TV and consulted with the one group of people who had more drama in their life than her: the docs on "Grey's Anatomy."
"Watching other people's relationships ebb and flow reminded me that my problems weren't so bad after all!" Allemann joked.
Below, Allemann tells us more about how McDreamy, McSteamy and Meredith helped her move on -- and shares a few more things that helped her deal with the fallout of her divorce.
The TV Show
Kelsey McNeal via Getty Images
"'Grey's Anatomy.' I'd never watched it before. Watching ten seasons gave me something to do with my spare time. It was like my own special kind of therapy. What can I say, watching other people's relationships ebb and flow reminded me mine was real and the challenges we faced were not that unusual. It helps to see that we are all not so different after all. We don't all cope the same, some of us need to be angry and scream, some of us need to drink and relax. For me, it was getting out of my comfort zone: Dancing when I was sad, accepting invitations to things I'd never done before, wearing the perfect little black dress just to feel beautiful."
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"My husband disliked seafood. He wouldn't let me cook it at home or get it when we'd go out to eat. Needless to say, I've eaten it every week since he left."
"The album was 'The Blessed Unrest' by Sara Bareilles. Three songs in particular got me through my separation. 'Brave' because it tells you to speak up and get out of the cage you've been living in. 'Little Black Dress' because you need to pick yourself up and get back out there (I even bought a little black dress!) and 'I Choose You,' because I still believe in love. I know I'll find that again.
Sara Bareilles actually came to St. Louis three months after my husband left me. It felt like it was the universe realigning itself. Not only was it was the first concert I had gone to on my own, it was also the first thing that I did that made me realize I don't have to answer to anyone but me."
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"I traded our wedding rings in for a new pair of princess-cut diamond studs.
Not only do they make me happy sparkling in my ears, they are also a symbol that out of something so bad came something that was good."
"Yep, a quote that's attributed to Dr. Seuss got me through my divorce. It might seem odd to choose this one, but it really speaks to how I had to take the time to mourn and move on. I had to choose to let my ex walk away so that I could be happy again. At some point, I realized that staying stuck in the past was disrespectful to myself. I was giving up the happiness I deserved."
"Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson. Her take on life and the crazy things it can throw your way made me see my own life more clearly!"
"My two German Shepherd pups were always a welcome distraction. There were days I didn't want to go on and they were always there wanting a hug or to play. When I hit my darkest moments the three of us would go for a walk and I'd pray for all the things I was thankful for and for a little peace and calm in the storm that was my daily existence. Fresh air and exercise healed my mind and my spirit. When I couldn't think of anything else to pray for, I'd just say please Lord take the wrong people out of my life and bring the right people in."
"What's my parting message to anyone going through a divorce? Trust your friends and family to see you through. It was my friends who told me to watch 'Grey's Anatomy,' it was my coworkers who encouraged me to get out and participate in things again, it was my family that encouraged me to not close my heart, it was my therapist who urged me to journal and write out the feelings I couldn’t express, it was real people who picked me up off the floor time and time again and lifted my spirits.
I'd tell others to keep an open mind and take people's suggestions. You never know what will work for you. Maybe its classical music to soothe you at night or affirmation tapes to help you let go and move on. Be open to each and every suggestion -- there's bound to be a good one in there."
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