This is the worst.
Sure, I decided to throw a party at my place at the Singita Kruger National Park in South Africa. And sure, there was plenty of fermenting marula fruit lying around. But this is just irresponsible. You brought in underage elephants with the herd, and they got all tipsy. Luckily for us, Ross Couper, a field guide at the park, took some photos.
You you made a fool out of yourself last night.
Ross Couper and Singita
You told your girlfriend you were off the marula fruit, and you just had to have one more, didn't you? Look at what you've become.
No amount of consoling will help Carol now.
Ross Couper and Singita
OK, Carol's wasted too. But you didn't have to call her a pickled pachyderm, you ass.
We aren't ready for 'The Hangover: Africa'
Ross Couper and Singita
Oh, so you're a rag-tag group of drunk elephants who wake up somewhere completely random in the Singita Kruger National Park. You have no idea where you are! And where's Jared? Yeah, we've seen that one before. Not funny, elephants.
Advertisement
Oh man, I can't wait to see your face when you wake up.
Ross Couper and Singita
Not easy waking up next to a cow, is it? It's going to be even worse when I make you clean the pee and glass off my carpet. You thought it'd be funny to swan-dive into the coffee table, and now you're going to pay for a new one.
Check your Instagram.
Ross Couper and Singita
This picture already has 33 likes. #Hammered #NeedBrunch #LastFridayNight #Instadrunk #Instafail #Blessed
Here's a thought: Don't drink the sugary stuff.
Ross Couper and Singita
Repeat after me: Marula soda. Not marula sunrise, not marula drop shots, just marula and soda. You blew it.
Advertisement
Ah, the ol' walk of shame.
Ross Couper and Singita
It's noon already. Have fun explaining that glitter on your neck when you get home.
Ross Couper and Singita
Go home elephants, you're drunk.
Like Us On Facebook |
Follow Us On Twitter |
Contact The Author