An Open Letter To The Future Mrs. Clooney: Congrats On Proving Princeton Mom Wrong

Dear Amal,

Well played, Ms. Alamuddin, well played. You are my new personal hero.

But not for the reason you might think. Sure, you’ve just landed the Moby Dick of celebrity bachelors, the elusive sparkle-eyed Clooney, 52, a man whose brief marriage (to Talia Balsam) and string of relationships with gorgeous women, many of them actresses or models, made him the talk of the tabloid town, a wild thing who could not be made to settle down. Like Matthew McConaughey, Clooney has always been one of a few celebrities who seem to be having a genuinely good time, confident in his own general awesomeness, pleased with his real estate in Lago Como, Italy, and sure of his status as America’s Silver Foxy-Foxalicious Boyfriend. He could have gone on like this indefinitely.

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