Huffpost Comedy

Weird Mother's Day Gifts For Your Weird Mom

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EMFTransformers.com
EMFTransformers.com

Your mom is weird.

That's not meant to be criticism, it's a celebration!

For too long, businesses and advertisers have forced the image of mothers as loving ciphers happily willing to benignly accept wilted flowers and chain restaurant buffets as their annual reward for the hardest job in the world: Raising a weirdo like you.

HuffPost Weird News wants to change that. Each mom is weird in her own unique way and deserves a gift to honor her flat-out wackiness, those little personality quirks that alternately annoy and make you smile.

Each of these gifts is perfect for some kind of weird mom and if you're too cheap to buy her one of them, just send her a link to the guide.

  • Shark Sleeping Bag
    Modcloth.com
    Does Mom love nature or simply a fan of "Jaws"? This sleeping bag turns every day into Shark Week. Unlike a real shark, she won't be sharing the stomach area with all sorts of flotsam and jetsam.
  • Skunk Scarf
    Green3Apparel.com
    The weather may be heating up, but mom won't raise a stink about wearing this stylish skunk scarf around her neck. Made from recycled materials, it's so realistic-looking that Pepe Le Pew may decide to jump its bones.
  • Cat Lady Spinner Ring
    Wayfair.com
    Is your mom a nervous cat lady who randomly plays with her jewelry when stressed? Help ease her worries by giving her a spinning ring engraved with feline faces (which, by the way, are better than feline feces).
  • EvriholderSlipperGenie
    Wayfair.com
    Moms have to multi-task around the house and cleaning is a hassle under any circumstances. These scrubbing slippers will pick up dust off floors when she is walking around the house yelling at you.
  • Sippin Seat
    Wayfair.com
    If your mom feels obligated to watch your boring swim meets or piano recitals, make it up to her by giving her a seat cushion that holds any type of liquid that might help her get through your pitiful attempts at showing ability at something.
  • Wonder Woman Fleece Throw
    Wayfair.com
    Your mom is a real-life superhero. This Wonder Woman fleece throw will make her feel that way when she is sitting on the couch watching episodes of whatever "Real Housewives" series is on Bravo. If your mom has gained a few pounds, she will appreciate the slimming effect it has on people with bad vision.
  • Chocolate Jesus
    LeSucreBleu.com
    Jesus turned water into wine, but it took a Brooklyn-based chocolatier to turn the King of Kings into a divine candy treat. Your mom will savor each bite of the savior.
  • Pig Ring
    Emitations.com
    Want to show your mom you love her while subtly criticizing her conspicuous consumption? At "only" $336, this pig ring is perfect for the mom who likes to live high on the hog.
  • Thigh Bands
    Bandelettes.com
    Behind your mother's loving smile is a woman in turmoil. Unbeknownst to you, her thighs are thwick-thwick-thwicking against each other, making an uncomfortable feeling that threatens her attempts at a normal life. Bandlettes are a type of thigh bands that are designed to stop the miserable chafing that fills her life with secret shame. http://www.bandelettes.com
  • Halos For Blind Dogs
    http://muffinshalo.weebly.com/
    Your mom may transferred her nurturing nature from you to her beloved dog. However, if the pooch happens to be blind, your mom may spend many hours keeping the pooch from bumping into the furniture. These doggie halos help keep Fido from slamming into walls or trees when Mom's taking him on a walk.
  • Taco Necklace
    Aftcra.com
    Does your mom love tacos almost as much as you (maybe more)? This taco necklace makes Mother's Day and every day "Taco Tuesday."
  • Zombie Sleep Mask
    Rakuten.com
    Your crazy antics are probably keeping Mom up at night, turning into a zombie during the daytime hours. This sleep mask will visually show how she feels on the inside when she knows you're out on the town doing God knows what, you selfish jerk.
  • EMF Transformers
    EMFtransformer.com
    Does your mom avoid using that smartphone you got her because she is afraid of electromagnetic frequencies? These EMF transformer promise to "maintain the dynamic equilibrium of the brain waves" while she is close to her computer or wireless devices. Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me either, but it's more compact than a year's worth of aluminum foil.
  • Anatomically Correct Heart Pendant
    Artisurn.com
    If your mom was a tormented, clove-smoking goth back in the 1980s, she may appreciate this anatomically correct heart pendant. Plus, if she gets mad at you, she can rip it off her neck and ask you to stomp on it, "because that's what you're doing to the heart inside me!" Good times.
  • Egg Minder
    Does your mom buy eggs and leave them in the fridge too long? The Egg Minder tells her which eggs need to be used and can even send her phone messages telling her to buy more eggs. Of course, it would be better if there was a similar appliance for beer.
  • Play-Doh Perfume
    FragranceNet.com
    If your mom is a kid at heart, she might enjoy smelling like Play-Doh, one of the most nostalgia-inducing odors ever. If she gripes about the gift, remind her that at least it doesn't smell like that other nostalgia-inducing scent: dirty diapers.
  • Giant Ceramic Wishbone
    Rookwood.com
    What mom wouldn't feel lucky to have this giant ceramic wishbone? Probably the one who thinks it came from a real chicken.
  • Crimson Tide Wine Holder
    Fanatics.com
    If your mom loves wine and the Crimson Tide, you're sure to score points over your siblings on Mother's Day with this wine holder. Other teams are available as well, but not all of them have won national championships.

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