Felisha and Don, a couple from just outside Detroit, have been married for 13 years and are in the midst of a relationship crisis. Their past mistakes -- including Felisha's cold behavior and Don's emotional affair with a woman he met online -- have created distance and resentment in their marriage, and neither one is sure how to move forward.
So, Felisha reached out to Iyanla Vanzant to help address their marital problems and pick up the pieces of their relationship. On the first day of her arrival, Iyanla brings the couple into the master bedroom, which she calls "the suite of hard conversations." Yet, what's not being said is almost just as important as what is.
To show the power of actions over words, Iyanla asks the couple to demonstrate how they get into bed each night. Felisha and Don walk to their respective sides of the bed. "I get like this," Felisha says, sitting onto the bed with her back turned away from her husband. "And I get on my phone."
Iyanla looks at Don. "She turns her back to you," Iyanla says. "And what do you do?"
"I mean, if she's like that, I do like this," Don answers, lying on his side with his back also turned away from his wife. "And I open the computer and use the computer."
Iyanla is silent for a moment, then instructs Felisha and Don to both lie on the bed however they feel most comfortable. Don shifts to lie on his back, but Felisha remains turned away. "How does that feel?" Iyanla asks them.
"Feels distant," Don says. "I feel like I lost my best friend."
It's clear that Felisha's pain is still present and that something beneath the surface is preventing her from forgiving her husband for his mistakes.
"That's a very powerful statement that a woman makes when she turns her back on a man," Iyanla says.
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