If global warming is what’s making Zac Efron want to strip down for “Magic Mike 2,” there's at least one upside to climate change. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Wednesday, May 7, 2014.
The Scuttlebutt
- Frightening maps of climate change in the U.S.
- Amanda Knox's alibi challenged by new footage
- Monica Lewinsky’s return to the public eye
MORE KIDNAPPINGS AND VIOLENCE ROCK NIGERIA
“Militant violence escalated around Nigeria on the eve of an international economic showcase in the country's capital, defying a security crackdown and drawing the U.S. into the conflict.” A Nigerian teen who escaped tells what it was like to be kidnapped. Here’s what we know about Boko Haram’s terrifying leader. And watch the #bringbackourgirls movement spread on Twitter. [WSJ]
VATICAN DISCLOSES CHILD ABUSE PUNISHMENT
“The Vatican revealed Tuesday that over the past decade, it has defrocked 848 priests who raped or molested children and sanctioned another 2,572 with lesser penalties, providing the first ever breakdown of how it handled the more than 3,400 cases of abuse reported to the Holy See since 2004.” Here’s the year-by-year breakdown. [AP]
THAILAND’S PM FORCED TO RESIGN
“Thailand's prime minister was ordered by a court to step down Wednesday in a divisive ruling that handed a victory to anti-government protesters who have staged six months of street protests — but does little to resolve the country's political crisis.” Here are the key moments in the Thai political crisis to date. [AP]
STATESIDE: Climate Change Heats Up
These are some scary climate change maps. A bipartisan justice panel is calling to eliminate the drug cocktail used in lethal injections. According to Nobel Prize-winning economists, we should end the “War on Drugs.” This is not what you want to see on your next flight. And VA Secretary Eric Shinseki isn’t resigning over the deadly waitlist scandal.
In transformation news, here’s an octopus who changes color in under two seconds.
INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Amanda Knox’s Shaky Alibi
The evacuation of Syrian rebel fighters from Homs effectively marks the end of the rebellion in the city. New TV footage pokes holes in Amanda Knox’s alibi. This country is on the “brink of genocide.” And the U.N. thinks they know where warlord Joseph Kony of Invisible Children infamy is hiding.
In struggle news, here are some cats stuck in sleeves.
BUY! SELL! BUY! Trillionaire Status 
See who is going to be the world’s first trillionaire in 25 years. Aliba thinks it’s worth over $100 billion in its U.S. IPO filing. Check out what airplane seats are going to look like in the next few years. And The Upshot looks at what Berkshire Hathaway should do after Warren Buffet retires (or, let’s be real here, dies).
In innocent news, here are all the dirty jokes you missed in your favorite 90s cartoons.
SCOUTING REPORT: Take Me Out to The Ballgame
Watch Kevin Durant go all Drake-emotional on us in his MVP speech. Nate Silver has the odds on whether Michael Sam, potentially the first openly gay NFL player, will be drafted. V. Stiviano is now officially under investigation for blackmail. And here’s how to hit up every ballpark in America in 30 days. Don’t forget the Cracker Jacks.
In feed the birds news, here’s a duck really working it for his bread crumbs.
CULTURE CATCH-UP: Monica Lewinsky Returns
Because that dress hasn’t gotten enough play, Monica Lewinsky has returned to haunt Hillary and Bill Clinton yet again in her piece for Vanity Fair. Buzzfeed accurately depicts how her affair with the president would have played out in today’s media. NBC finally gave us a teaser for “The Maya Rudolph Show,” and its variety show format looks FANTASTIC. Grantland’s “If I Fought This Rapper, Would I Win?” chart answers whether we could take on Ludacris (Spoiler: we’d win). Celebrities are boycotting the Beverly Hills Hotel after its owner, the Sultan of Brunei, announced those in gay and lesbian relationships in his country would be stoned. Zac Efron allegedly wants to take it all off for “Magic Mike 2” -- nobody’s mad about it. And you can stream the entire new Black Keys album here. [Image via Reddit]
In rambunctious news, here are some adorable baby rhinos.
LIVIN’: Turns Out You Don’t Have to Go to Jail
These five major updates to Google Maps will change your travel life. Lesson learned: if you don’t show up to jail to serve your 13-year-sentence, you won’t have to stay in the slammer. You’re doing your laundry all wrong. Can you eat this 30,000 calorie burger? (For your cholesterol’s sake, we hope not.) And find out the energy secret these uber-successful people swear by.
In skittish news, here’s a kitten who nearly did a backflip after being spooked.
OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSINESS: Oprah’s Long-Lost Audition Tape
Thirteen-year-old Willow Smith was photographed in bed with a 20-year-old. Miley Cyrus is denying rumors that a drug overdose put her in the hospital. Drew Barrymore talks about how being skinny isn’t everything. And watch a young Oprah rock her audition tape for what became the "Oprah Winfrey Show."
In bouncing news, here are a bunch of animals having a blast on trampolines.
TWITTERATI
@petewentz: how much coffee can you drink before your head explodes... jw... working on an answer now.
@HuffPostMedia: NY Post's typically classy Monica Lewinsky front page http://huff.to/QdVo8q pic.twitter.com/XsgLdPHYXn
@yokoono: All my life, I have been in love with the sky. Even when everything was falling apart around me, the sky was always there for me.
@ochocinco: I personally know strangers...
@HistoryInPics: 1935 Twitter pic.twitter.com/BdbQrbcaYW
ONE MORE THING
Watch these lion cubs learn how to swim. They aren’t even wearing floaties.
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