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05/27/2014 05:42 pm ET | Updated Feb 02, 2016

'A Letter to the Girl I Used to Be' Is Ethan Smith's Powerful Poem On The 'Death' Of His Female Self (VIDEO)

When Emily Smith was just 11-years-old, she said out loud she didn't want to live anymore. She told her therapist she did not foresee living past 21.

Emily was right.

In the 2014 Berklee College Union's Poetry Slam Invitational, Best of the Rest, Ethan Smith sent a powerful letter to Emily -- the girl he used to be.

"At 19 you started to fade," says Ethan, "I tried to cross you out like a line in my memoir I wished I could erase completely. And maybe I'm misunderstanding the definition of death, but even though parts of you exist, you are not here. Most of my friends have never heard your name, until now."

Ethan no longer identifies with Emily, and says her memories feel like a bedtime story, but in his "Letter to the Girl I Used To Be," he remembers and admires this little girl. The little girl who would never grow up, but had the courage and will to become the person she was always meant to be.

Via Button Poetry

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