Although Hollywood starlet Mindy Kaling couldn't quite put her finger on why she'd been asked to speak to the Harvard Law School class of 2014, the resulting Class Day speech was downright clever.
Kaling, a Dartmouth College alumna, did offer one single heartfelt observation: "Listen, let me tell you something. From where I stand, from an outsider's perspective, here's the truth: You are all nerds."
While that may be one of the most honest descriptions of law school we've ever heard, yesterday's graduates shouldn't take it too hard. From the big data infrastructure of Silicon Valley to the dusty law libraries of Washington, one thing's clear: nerds run this world.
Here are a few other truths Kaling offered the new Juris Doctors:
"I'm afraid a couple of you are probably evil -- that’s just the odds."
"Let’s be honest, Harvard Law is the best of the Harvard graduate programs. The Business School is full of crooks. The Divinity School is just a bunch of weird virgins. The School of Design is for European burnouts. And don’t get me started on the Kennedy School. What kind of a degree do you get from there? Public policy? Okay, right. You mean a masters in boring me to death at a dinner party. Let’s be honest. The Med School is just a bunch of nerdy Indians. I can say that, by the way."
"And now with this diploma in hand, most of you will go on to the noblest of pursuits, like helping a cable company acquire a telecom company. You will defend BP from birds. You will spend hours arguing that the well water was contaminated well before the fracking occurred. One of you will sort out the details of my pre-nup. A dozen of you will help me with my acrimonious divorce. And one of you will fall in love in the process."
"I graduated in 2001 from Dartmouth College, an academic institution located in lawless rural New Hampshire, where when you arrive, you are given a flask of moonshine and a box of fireworks, and you are told simply to, quote, 'Go to town' -- except there is no town, there is only a forest and a row of frat houses that smell like urine."
"Actually, little know fact, Dartmouth has a law school -- it’s just one semester, and its coursework is entirely centered on how to beat a DUI."
"Who should be giving advice and the answer is people like you. You are better educated and you are going to go out into the world and people are going to listen to what you say, whether you are good or evil, and that probably scares you because some of you look really young."
Watch the full speech above to laugh and be inspired. Something tells us that these "nerds" knew what they were up to when they invited Kaling.