Huffpost Weddings

You Can't Host An Engagement Dinner And Expect Your Guests To Pay

Posted: Updated:
DINNER TOAST
Image Source via Getty Images

The rules of wedding etiquette are constantly changing, making it difficult for modern brides, grooms and guests to find up-to-date and correct information. That's why we launched #MannersMondays, a weekly series in which we ask our followers on Twitter and Facebook to submit their most burning etiquette-related questions. Then, with the help of our team of etiquette experts, we get you the right answers to your biggest Big Day dilemmas. Check out this week's question below!

“My fiancé and I are hosting an engagement dinner by inviting family and close friends to make a surprise announcement of our engagement. Is it rude to ask our guest to pay for their own dinner or should we pay for it? What is the proper etiquette?" - Trice T. via Facebook

Anna Post -- great-great-granddaughter of etiquette guru Emily Post and author of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette -- is here to help us answer this week's question. Find out what she had to say below:

The short answer is yes, it’s “rude” to invite people to a party or a celebratory dinner at a restaurant and ask them to pay. The key words you said are, “my fiancé and I are hosting.” That in essence means you’re taking care of your guests, figuratively and financially.

Socially, we all have friends with whom we can make dinner plans, knowing full-well that we’ll split the bill. But an event that is announced by invitation should be paid for by the host. There’s no good way to write, “We hope you can come -- oh, and you’ll need to pay you own way,” on the invitation. The only exceptions are for BYOB or potluck parties, which ask guests to contribute food or drinks, not money.

In your case, if cost is an issue, have the party at your home and turn it into a cocktail party to save on food, or even a BYOB or potluck dinner. Just be sure to have some kind of bubbly on hand, as people will want to toast you once they hear the news!

You can submit your wedding etiquette questions via Facebook or tweet them to us @HuffPostWedding with the hashtag #MannersMondays.

Also on HuffPost:

Wedding Etiquette Rules You Can Break
of
Share
Tweet
Advertisement
Share this
close
Current Slide

Suggest a correction

Around the Web

Engagement Parties: Planning 101 - Getting Engaged - Engaged

Planning An Engagement Party - Wedding Channel

Inside George and Amal's All-Star Engagement Dinner