POLITICS
06/10/2014 01:57 pm ET Updated Jun 10, 2014

Here Are The Top Ten Political Memoirs Nobody Remembers Anymore

Some critics have panned Hard Choices, Hillary Clinton's new book recounting her time at the State Department, as too dull and unimaginative.

"Clinton’s account is the low-salt, low-fat, low-calorie offering with vanilla pudding as the dessert," wrote Slate's John Dickerson.

CNN contributor and GOP operative Ana Navarro suggested an alternative title: "50 Shades of Boring."

But the tome, released Tuesday, follows a tried-and-true formula executed by countless forgettable political memoirs of the past in which American figures (and their ghostwriters) chronicle their path from humble beginnings to the public stage in little more than a mind-numbing, talking point-laden journey meant to catapult them to higher political office -- and the rest of America into deep sleep.

Publishers often slap on feel-good yet bland catch phrases to the cover meant to burnish their author's brand with the electorate, centering on their leadership, such as John McCain's Hard Call and George W. Bush's Decision Points, or their character, such as Tim Pawlenty's Courage To Stand.

Pages are turned, articles are written, cable segments are produced, and a few months later the much-hyped account is bookended by its predecessors on the nation's shelves, never to be opened again.

So without further ado, and in no particular order, here are HuffPost's top ten political memoirs that nobody remembers anymore, along with the most groan-inducing lines from their Amazon descriptions.

1) Herman Cain's This Is Herman Cain! My Journey To The White House

Going rate on Amazon: $17.35

Yawn: "When Herman Cain speaks, people listen. When he debates, he wins."

2) Tim Pawlenty's Courage To Stand: An American Story

Going rate on Amazon: $20.52

Yawn: "In Courage to Stand, Pawlenty reveals, for the first time, how he found the resolve to get the job done, taking readers all the way back to the lessons he learned as a boy in the gritty meatpacking town of South St. Paul."

3) John Kerry's A Call to Service: My Vision for a Better America

Going rate on Amazon: $0.10

Yawn: "As an outsider among insiders in the U.S. Senate, John Kerry has never been afraid to battle the political establishment and fight the fights that need fighting."

4) Joe Biden's Promises to Keep: On Life and Politics

Going rate on Amazon: $19.59

Yawn: "As a United States senator from Delaware since 1973, Joe Biden has been an intimate witness to the major events of the past four decades and a relentless actor in trying to shape recent American history."

5) Dick Gephardt's An Even Better Place: America in the 21st Century

Going rate on Amazon: $4.70

Yawn: "But many Americans have never heard what Gephardt really thinks about the challenges we now face as a nation and as Americans. Until now."

6) Marco Rubio's An American Son: A Memoir

Going rate on Amazon: $15.88

Yawn: "But he has never before told the full story of his unlikely journey, with all the twists and turns that made him an American son."

7) John McCain's Hard Call: The Art of Great Decisions

Going rate on Amazon: $24.99

Yawn: "Woven into these stories are John McCain's own views on the process and art of decision-making and examples of the hard calls we face in our lives."

8) Rick Santorum's Blue Collar Conservatives: Recommitting to an America That Works

Going rate on Amazon: $21.16

Yawn: "This inspiring and challenging new book is sure to make a splash this mid-election year and beyond."

9) Dennis Kucinich's A Prayer for America

Going rate on Amazon: $10.70

Yawn: "When Congressman Dennis Kucinich delivered his speech, 'A Prayer for America,' to the Southern California chapter of Americans for Democratic Action, it electrified the whole country."

10) Mitt Romney's No Apology: The Case for American Greatness

Going rate on Amazon: $9.69

Yawn: "Personal and dynamically-argued, No Apology is a call to action by a man who cares deeply about America’s history, its promise, and its future."

Runners-up (best used as paper weights)

Bill Clinton's My Life

Going rate on Amazon: $16.41

Yawn: "Here is the life of a great national and international figure, revealed with all his talents and contradictions, told openly, directly, in his own completely recognizable voice. A unique book by a unique American."

Dan Quayle's Standing Firm: A Vice-Presidential Memoir

Going rate on Amazon: $3.75

Yawn: "The former vice president and conservative spokesman offers a personal account of his controversial years in the White House, from helping prosecute the war against Iraq to starting the 'Murphy Brown' debate over family values."

Olympia Snowe's Fighting for Common Ground: How We Can Fix the Stalemate in Congress

Going rate on Amazon: $18.93

Yawn: "A leading moderate with a reputation for crossing the aisle, Senator Snowe will propose solutions for bridging the partisan divide in Washington, most notably through a citizens’ movement to hold elected officials accountable."

Kill it with fire (as kindling)

Lanny Davis' Truth To Tell: Tell It Early, Tell It All, Tell It Yourself: Notes from My White House Education

Going rate on Amazon: $17.91

Yawn: "With refreshing candor, Davis admits his own mistakes and reveals those instances where he dug a deeper hole for himself by denying the obvious and obfuscating the truth."

Meghan McCain's Dirty Sexy Politics

Going rate on Amazon: $23.99

Yawn: "Meghan McCain came to prominence as the straight-talking, progressive daughter of the 2008 Republican presidential candidate Senator John McCain. And her profile has only risen since the election ended in favor of the other guy."

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