As you may already know, June is Pride Month, and it's as important for that to be recognized by heterosexuals as it is by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.
So as a show of solidarity with LGBT people everywhere, I wanted to do the gayest thing a straight man could possibly do: I wrote a poem. Just kidding, poets. Please, save your beautifully metered hate mail.
This poem is dedicated to gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender people -- anyone in America who is subject to inequality, and everyone who fights alongside them. Specifically though, this is dedicated to my brother Charlie and his partner John (my brother from another mother).
You Know Who Else Has More Than One Father? AMERICA!
Here in America, we have built quite the mythIt's one Americans should all be concerned withIt's the myth of family, and what that entailsAs if kids couldn't be raised by two loving females.
Opponents say children need a mom and a dad"Two mothers? Two fathers? It would just end up bad.There's a model fam'ly you should strive to achieve."Ward and June Cleaver? Jerry Mathers as the Beav?
With a divorce rate of nearly half and risingIt is difficult not to find it surprisingThat we do not yet allow same-sexes to wedAnd enjoy the same right to a marriage they dread.
"It just isn't right to have multiple fathers."No matter the stats or how little it bothers?"Nothing is conceived by multiple fathers -- duh!"Oh? Not even a li'l place called... AMERICA?
America is a child with fathers galore!More than two or three, and ev'ry one of them foreThey broke from mother England to raise us this wayAnd that's back in a time when happiness was gay.
But then the debate turns to a biblical sell"It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!" they yellAnd yet the forefathers include, would you believe,Multiple Adams and at least one guy named Steve.*
There wasn't an Eve in the whole congregationExcept for the night before founding this nationThat prides on equality, colors that don't fadeIt has all the makings of a gay pride parade!
The Declaration and Constitution in mindLet's thank our forefathers and their eye for designThink on their queerness; America, for the win,The same-sexiest fam'ly that has ever been.
*John Adams, Samuel Adams, Stephen Hopkins
This piece was republished from a previous blog post.