Huffpost Comedy

23 Ways Humidity Is Making Your Life A Living Hell

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Do you recall only a couple months ago when you were so sick of the cold weather? Well, Mother Nature finally listened to all your complaining and now she is gifting us with the pleasure of extreme heat and unbearable mugginess (also known as summer).

You should have been more careful about what you wished for. The sun is (mostly) great. Humidity is not. And judging from the way this summer is starting out, know you've got a lot of sticky, oppressively hot days ahead of you. So, get ready to sweat through these 23 uncomfortable situations all summer long, and welcome to humidity hell.

1. Humidity makes you toss and turn in your sleep until you just resort to this:

sleepingfridge

Not the most energy efficient solution, but at this point, who cares?

2. It turns your sheets into Saran Wrap.

They will stick to you like glue. Then you will strip them off, along with the rest of your clothes.

3. It makes you, for once, not care that your shower doesn't get hot water.

A cold shower offers you brief respite from the humidity. Just pretend that it's actually your choice.

4. Why should you put deodorant on when your pits are already sweating?
You can't stop the sweat. You can only hope to contain it.

5. Thanks to humidity, blow-drying your hair turns your bathroom into an Amazonian jungle.

And it takes three times as long because you absolutely refuse to use hot air.

6. It instantly turns your hair frizzy the second you walk outside.

Next time, you won't even bother with blowdrying your hair.

7. Humidity makes it virtually impossible to put on makeup.

A wet, sticky face is not the best palette for a smooth eyeliner glide.

8. It makes your office clothes feel like a heavy prison dragging your body down.

Your workplace has a pretty relaxed dress code, but unfortunately, showing up naked is not allowed.

9. Thanks to humidity, now you never want to sit down on the subway.

Because then you will have to peel your sweaty ass off the seat.

10. But even standing and trying to grasp your sweaty hand on the subway pole proves futile.
You can feel the sweat pooling in the cup of your hand, and now you look crazy as you constantly switch hands to get a firm grip.

11. Humidity gives you that back of the leg sweat.
Every time you walk, your leg sticks together at the knee.

12. And that scalp sweat.

You never knew your head could emit so much liquid.

13. Don't forget those armpit sweat stains.


These are just classic.

14. It gives you those chest sweat stains.

Sometimes you sweat so hard that your chest stain bleeds into your armpit stain.

15. Humidity introduces you to belt sweat stains.
You know, when there are those lines of sweat right below and above where your belt is cinching your skin.

16. It is sure to provide that stinging sensation in your eyes as the sweat drips into them.

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It burns!

17. And you can guarantee humidity will give you that strong taste as your sweat seeps into your mouth.

Tasty.

18. It makes sure that even if you walk very slowly, you'll still arrive somewhere with a fully sweat-drenched back.
This is a surefire guarantee.

19. It makes sure you cannot escape beads of sweat all over your face when you arrive at your destination.

Nope, you did not run here.

20. Effectively, humidity surrounds you with that sticky wet feeling that covers literally every single pore on your body at all times.
It's like another layer of skin. A sweaty, hot, wet one.

21. Humidity causes you to be a bit repetitive when you greet people.

"It's so hot outside!" is now always the first thing you say to anyone and everyone.

22. But at least it allows for that rejuvenating feeling of walking into air conditioning after being outside for, like, one minute.

Pure bliss.

23. And it gives you a new favorite pastime: Staring directly into the A/C or fan for a good ten minutes to cool off every time you get home from going anywhere.

Ahhhhhh. That's much better.

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