06/30/2014 02:34 pm ET | Updated Jun 30, 2014

Pigeon Valiantly Attempts To Woo Human Owner

"No, pigeon, breeding with me would be counterproductive. We have incompatible genitals, pigeon."

To an outside observer, any mating ritual might seem a little strange.

The exchange of a drink for a date, the yawn choreographed inside the movie theater just so you have an excuse to lean in, the significance of placing your lips on theirs when their usual job is keeping food inside your mouth and pushing words out: it all only works because the rituals are played by humans for other humans.

Unfortunately, the gallant young pigeon really doesn't get his target audience.


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