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19 Things You Should Never Ever Say On A Date

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AWKWARD DATE
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You know how they say honesty is the best policy? That's not exactly true of dating.

We come bearing proof. On Thursday, the folks over on the Ask Reddit forum shared the very worst thing a date as ever revealed to them. Below, the 19 most heinous responses. If reading through these truth bombs doesn't make you feel better about your dating skills, we're not sure what will.

1. "Her: I'm actually still married, and not to alarm you but my husband is sitting over there watching us eat.

Me: "I have to go to the bathroom." (Exits building quickly, leaving her with the bill.)" -amsamam

2. "'Hold on, I need to tell my mom you don't act like a rapist.' She also took her drink with her to the bathroom." -Affordable_Z_Jobs

3. "Her: Do you want kids?

Me: Some day, but a lot of things have to happen before that does.

Her: That's a mature response. I love kids, I want one really bad.

Me: Like... right now?

Her: Yeah, all my friends know I'm not really looking for a good man, just looking for good sperm.

Me: ...." -Crotch_Snorkel

4. "She said she was married, gluten-free, and vegan... I couldn't decide which was the worst." -vtbuxton

5. "My hobby is painting pictures of sloths with giant erections." -47845895

6. "She said she had a history of going on dates with guys for free meals. Paranoia and confusion ensued." -axlkomix

7. "Me: So what's with this Confederate flag keychain?"

Her: Oh, I'm a little bit racist." -ReferencesCartoons

8. "Last year I went on a date with a pretty attractive guy I met through OkCupid. The date started off well enough, and I found him to be really interesting. Then he threw out this gem: 'Sometimes I feel like everyone around me exists only in my head for my enjoyment. Like, I created you and everyone else for entertainment and pleasure. I secretly think I might be god, I just haven't unlocked my full potential yet.'

I thought he was kidding. He wasn't." -glitterwhore666

9. "Me: So you a cat person or dog person?"

Her: I find dog meat to be pretty good, never tried eating cat, though.

Me: ....I'd say cat person then." -PotassiumAlum

10. "When I get married I expect at least an $8,000 wedding ring." -hoorayforblood

11. "I had a guy go into great detail about his foot fetish and how it wasn't weird. I was wearing flip flops and became really really uncomfortable." -SaltySeilde

12. "Date: Do you know about omutsu?

Me: No, what is it?

Date: Diaper fetish.

Me: Haha, that's so weird.

Date: No it's cool. I have that.

Me: "..." -Sayul

13. "Fifteen minutes in she goes, 'I don't want to scare you away... but I'm pregnant.'" -Gephorian

14. "At the time of the date, I'm 20, she's 23:
Her: Well, after my first divorce...

Me: There was more than one?

Her: Well, it's complicated." -Crazierhobbes

15. "Four words: I'm an amateur juggler" -FrancisBaconandEggs

16. "A guy admitted he had a child. That wasn't bad -- lots of people have kids. But he then went on to explain that he wasn't very involved. He described that she lived close but he just lived his life outside from his child and really just took her when things were good for him. 'You know my ex takes care of things really well so I don't try to cramp their style.' He straight up told me he was a dead beat dad." -tryagain420

17. "I had a girl openly admit she used to stalk me." -Mattism

18. "Dude had plans to go to an orgy if our date 'didn't work out.' He freely volunteered this." -ThatGrimReefer

And now, the very worst thing you can possibly say on a date (drum roll, please):


19. "At the end of the first date the girl said not only would there not be a second date, but that she was officially swearing off dating and relationships forever and she was okay with dying alone." -Masterofice5

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