America's shopping malls are dying a slow, painful death. And they're taking our teenage memories with them.
1. Like that fresh mall smell.
2. And having a convenient place to get away from the parents.
3. Or if you're a parent, having a place to plop your annoying 13-year-old for a couple blissful hours.
4. It was also a great way to "accidentally" run into your crush.
5. And then go on date with said crush once you'd gotten that far.
6. Laughing at the apathetic mall cops was always a good time.
7. So was making fun of the ones who took it way too seriously.
8. Ah, getting free massages at The Sharper Image.
S-o-o-o-o v-i-i-i-b-r-a-a-a-a-t-e-e-y-y-y.
9. And sampling video games and music before the Internet existed.
10. Who didn't love getting the best parking space in a jam-packed lot?
"Like a glove."
11. Just to spend all of your allowance on glittery butterfly hair clips.
12. And of course, sip on an Orange Julius.
Never forget.
13. While looking at the super emo stuff at Hot Topic.
14. And then drooling over a Cinnabon.
15. All while smelling that sweet aroma of Auntie Anne's pretzels.
16. The mall also helped prove that not everything on TV is fake.
17. And let us gawk at weird dads standing outside the Victoria's Secret.
18. ...as well as the adolescent boys who were "trying" not to look.
19. Where the hell was the other side of the escalator? No one ever knew.
20. Oh yes, and the Easter Bunnies...
...and Santas.
21. Come to think of it, there were a lot of weird people who would show up to the mall.
22. Maybe they were drawn to the bizarre sculptures?.
23. And back then, you could look at a product without a corporation storing and/or selling your personal information. What an idea.
24. Especially if it was a flat-brimmed hat inside a store dedicated entirely to flat-brimmed hats.
Would you like a flat brimmed hat? Or how about a flat brimmed hat?
25. Oooooh, carousels.
Actually, will we really miss this?
26. Ugh, free samples of Chinese in the food court.
27. Throwing a penny in the fountain and wishing that you'd get that rare Beanie Baby that never worked out...
28. ...but you'd secretly throw another one later anyway, hoping you'd get asked out by your crush.
29. And last but not least, we'll miss all those poignant and sad abandoned mall posts on the Internet.
At least those pennies are still there.Because eventually, nobody will remember malls at all.