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The Imaginary Well-Dressed Daughter's Guide To Parenting

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When Tiffany Beveridge started a Pinterest board about an imaginary well-dressed toddler, she had no idea how popular it would become. In 2013, her creation went viral, and now she has turned that board into a hilarious celebration of one fearless and fashion-forward little girl who is taking over the world, one playdate at a time. Here, in an excerpt from How To Quinoa: Life Lessons from My Imaginary Well-Dressed Daughter, Quinoa offers up her sage advice on how to start a child's life off right -- with a Quinoa-approved baby name.

Parenting the World's Most Influential Daughter

Sometimes Quinoa likes to daydream about what might have become of Beethoven, Michelangelo, and Coco Chanel if only they’d had the exceptional parenting she herself enjoys. Would Beethoven have become a pioneer of hip-hop instead of being limited to classical music? Would Michelangelo have eventually discovered animation instead of exhausting his efforts on mural art? Would Coco Chanel have given us chic dental decorations to improve on her couture gowns? Unfortunately, we’ll never know.

From the very beginning, Quinoa has been incredibly in touch with her own particular needs and brilliantly adept at expressing them. Even as a newborn without a vocabulary, Quinoa was able to communicate exactly what she needed through a series of adorable shrieks and wails. This process informed the child-led parenting style Quinoa developed for the young and gifted called the Quinoa Method, which can be summarized like this: The child expresses a need or want, followed by the child’s need or want immediately being fulfilled. Its utter simplicity is what makes Quinoa most proud. She likes to say it’s the Little Black Dress of parenting.

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Whether it’s a snack, a vacation, or a vintage Dior pea coat at Sotheby’s, Quinoa shows no hesitation in making her wishes known. This interpersonal modeling makes life stress-free for busy parents. No guesswork. No tears. The beauty of the system is that it ensures a happy child, which is ultimately what every parent is seeking.

Quinoa warns against the dangers of refusing a child’s demands or -- gasp! -- saying no. One time Quinoa herself heard the word no and cried for two days straight. Just think of what she could have accomplished in those two days! (She doesn’t want to make anybody feel bad, but it was actually a solution for world hunger. And she’s not going to tell now, since that would reinforce the behavior. Lesson learned?)

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Choosing a Quinoa-esque Name

Aside from attending and acceding to a child’s demands, the Quinoa Method also incorporates the intelligent naming of children. Quinoa says that properly naming a child broadcasts to the world that you have what it takes to raise successful offspring in today’s frenzied toddler-eat-toddler culture. As Quinoa puts it, times have changed and even the most precocious child cannot overcome a social setback like being named Jennifer.

As a generous gift, Quinoa has personally procured this list of approved names for your use.

Note: Please be advised that none of these names should be mixed with any non-approved Quinoa names, either as middle names (e.g., Chasm Jason) or within families (e.g., Orzo, Agave, and Morris). Doing so will immediately disqualify your Quinoa endorsement.

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Excerpted from How To Quinoa: Life Lessons from My Imaginary Well-Dressed Daughter by Tiffany Beveridge. Running Press (2014)

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