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Man Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All Her Excuses Not To Have Sex

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The key to improving intimacy is creating a spreadsheet to document all the times you felt rejected and then emailing said spreadsheet to your partner, right? Wrong.

For some reason, though, one unnamed man presumably thought it would be a good idea to do just that. So, he set up a three-columned spreadsheet of all the times he initiated sex with his wife over the course of six weeks. In column A he recorded the date (June 3 to July 16); in column B he included the response (yes or no) and in column C he wrote down the excuse his wife used against having sex on a particular night.

Someone claiming to be the wife took the spreadsheet to Reddit and, under the username throwwwwaway29, shared it with the /r/relationships community, writing: "My husband [M26] sent me [F26] an immature, inflammatory email as I was driving to the airport for a 10-day work trip. Now he has cut contact."

Sex? ...or sex not. A spreadsheet

Deadspin's The Concourse blog published the woman's full description, which has since been converted to a locked post on Reddit, of what occurred:

Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my 'excuses,' using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his 'document', we've only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 'attempts' on his part.

Responses to the woman's post were mixed. Some sided with her.

"If someone had constructed a spreadsheet of reasons why I wouldn't have sex with them, it would make me instantly want to pounce on their c--k and worship them like the god of sex they clearly are," one user wrote sarcastically. "No wait -- it would make me feel nauseous and like I didn't want them anywhere near me. That's beyond pathetic."

Some sided with the husband.

"[I]f someone refused to have sex with me over & over & over again despite my repeated attempts, culminating in them only agreeing to it 3 times in 7 weeks, and they used the same excuses each time, excuses which could be easily remedied, it would make me feel like they didn't want me anywhere near them," another user wrote.

Others just noted the obvious communication issues within the relationship.

Regardless of who is right and who is wrong, the sexual entitlement here is pretty undeniable. So is the immaturity.

"I'm not a marriage counselor," writes Bob Powers of Someecards, "but I'm pretty sure that if you and the spouse aren't sleeping together as much as you'd like, the way to turn her on is not with passive-aggressive use of Microsoft Office."

We couldn't have said it better ourselves.

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