Huffpost Comedy

20 New And Improved Names For Boring, Everyday Stuff

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Words are hard. Whether it's due to a language barrier, a post-op haze or something else entirely, we've seen your struggle with the English language. And we feel for you!

In fact, we'd like to toast your occasional memory lapse, since linguistic slip-ups can result in some pretty ingenious new words and phrases for everyday things. Feel free to start using these ones immediately.


space light
Shoutout to XKCD for always being relevant.

porksicles
Shoutout to Aziz Ansari's alter ego, who'd want us to treat ourselves.

water with corners
Shoutout to slimydog for quick thinking.

potato sticks
Shoutout to RexErection, who struggled more than most.

finger pants
Shoutout to us, because we're sometimes creative.

horse tornado
Shoutout to disguisenburg for being neighborly.

sneeze paper
Shoutout to EnragedPorkchop for having weird friends.

sugar bagels
Shoutout to the Redbull that allowed us to think up this one, too.

kittens 13
Shoutout to iminclinedtopursue52 for befriending a German person.

spray scream
Shoutout to Clown_Prince_Of_Web for sharing.

cereal water
Shoutout to iwannaelroyyou for changing how we view dairy.

raw toast
Shoutout to Murrello for proving that mornings are often difficult.

fish museum
Shoutout to kittymissles for perpetuating misinformation.

campground for dead
Shoutout to innosins for not making up lame excuses.

electric hose
Shoutout to Boondoggle for such descriptive prowess.

bird leaf
Shoutout to doctor_jeff for publicly humiliating his friend.

burrito blankets
Shoutout to MSeltz for loving burritos.

sand moose
Shoutout to miss-apple-pie for having good ideas.

tiny lobster
Shoutout to Aziz again because we like him a lot.

roll of inches
Shoutout to UniverseProjects for sparking this post.

Shoutout to Getty for background images.

Earlier on HuffPost:

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