Huffpost Comedy

9 Amazing Places You'll Want To Hurry Up And Visit Because You're Dying

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Whoa, you don't look so hot. Like, maybe you're on the verge of death. But wait! There are a lot of amazing places in the world you MUST see!



Welcome to the Great Pyramid in Giza, Egypt, the oldest of the seven wonders of the world! Sorry is that coughing going to be a regular thing? It's really distracting. After construction finished around 2560 B.C., the Great Pyramid remained the tallest man-made structure in the world for nearly 4,000 years!



The Great Wall of China, as it's currently known, was begun as several smaller walls, some started as early as the 7th century B.C.! When all lengths are measured, the wall is estimated to be over 13,000 miles long. And take a look at that breathtaking view -- In your case, literally!



Many experts still aren't sure the exact purpose behind the construction of Stonehenge, but most believe it to be a calendar of sorts. How'd they get those huge rocks in place though?!



You're not going to be hobbling around like that the whole time are you? There are still some awesome things to see, like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which tilts at an impressive 3.99 degrees! Kind of like you! We kid, but seriously, try to keep up the pace.



How about a romantic stopover in Paris? The Eiffel Tower was not very welcomed by the people of Paris when it was constructed for the World's Fair in 1889, but has since become one of the most recognizable structures on Earth!



Ahhh, welcome to Venice. We see you've been bit by the love bug! Could you keep it down with the pained groaning though? This couple is on a romantic gondola date! In fact, maybe you should steer; that'll keep you busy and you can forget about your condition.



Now we go underground to the Naica Mine in Chihuahua, Mexico. It's 1,000 feet below the surface and contains enormous crystals, some as big as four feet around and nearly 50 feet long! Listen to the terrific echoes your hacking and coughing make!



And now ... the Grand Canyon! It's as much as 18 miles wide and in some places about 6,000 feet deep! Amazing. Breathe in that fresh air. What's that? You're having trouble breathing? Oh well, just do your best.



Last, but certainly not least, the moon. Right now, we're about 250,000 miles from Earth. Containment suit? You mean to contain your amazement? We know, it's totally blowing our minds, too!



You're lucky we were here in time to take you on that excursion across the globe and beyond. Okay, now go back to the hospital so you don't die, you big baby.



You're WELCOME.

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