Ordering food at a restaurant can be a process -- too many choices, too much chatting, not enough time. But if you order like Sally Albright from "When Harry Met Sally," then rattling off your desired meal is a practiced art.
It doesn't matter if you're making those dining with you uncomfortable and annoying your server -- you know what you want and how you want it. There's no person who better captured the absurdity of such moments than the late, great Nora Ephron, who wrote Sally's drill sergeant of an order in "When Harry Met Sally."
In a tribute to this famous scene (but not the most famous restaurant scene), here are nine ways to tell you're being a "Sally."
1. If you order a cheese pizza with the usual tomato sauce, but only want it if it's homemade sauce, and if it's not homemade than it should be just be a white pizza with mozzarella cheese. And if they don't have mozzarella, you'll just stick with a house salad.
2. If you order the Chef's Special, but then you don't really like the meat suggested so you'd just like it to be a rack of ribs with the same seasoning and side dishes. If that can't be done then you'll just have the side dishes that come with the Chef's Special and an order of the house ribs.
3. If you want a caramel iced coffee but no whip and non-fat milk or soy if they have it -- light on the caramel shots and without the drizzle on top or caramel chunks. If they can't make that fast enough then you'll just have a black coffee, stat.
4. If you like your chicken noodle soup but without the chicken and tofu as an added substitution. You're fine if the broth is made with chicken, you just don't like the way that chicken tastes in the soup and you'd also like it if the soup came without peas, but tiny carrots are fine.
5. If you order a Caesar salad without Caesar dressing and cheese and with the croutons on the side. Though if the salad is already premixed then you'll just take a Santa Fe salad with shrimp, again hold the cheese and put the ranch dressing on the side.
6. If you tend to order spaghetti without the sauce and substitute in a white alfredo sauce topped with parmesan, but if they don't have that then you'll just have pasta with butter and a tomato sauce on the side. And meatballs, of course.
7. If you order a Philly cheesesteak without the cheese and onions but with an extra side of peppers, but only if they're green peppers. If the restaurant only has red peppers then you'll take the Philly cheesesteak WITH cheese but still hold the onion and definitely the green peppers.
8. If you always order the grilled chicken and goat cheese salad but without the chicken, and holding the walnuts of course. Also, you'd really just prefer to leave the goat cheese off as well, and you're completely fine with the fact that you just paid $14 for spinach in a raspberry vinaigrette.
9. If you order the pie but don't want the ice cream on top, you want it on the side, and if you'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if they have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream (but only if it's real, if it's out of the can, then nothing)...