Huffpost Divorce

12 Startling Secrets People Are Keeping From Their Partners

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WIFE SUSPICIOUS
Vasileios Economou via Getty Images

We all tell little white lies to save face with the ones we love. But it becomes problematic when those lies -- or lies by omission -- are about something more serious.

And more couples are keeping major secrets from each other than you'd expect; a recent survey showed that one in five people are keeping a potentially marriage-ending secret from their spouse -- infidelity, for instance, or a serious money issue.

What else are people neglecting to tell their partners? On Wednesday, an Ask Reddit thread popped up asking people in relationships to share the one thing they're hiding from their significant others.

Below, 12 responses that were most surprising:

1. "I am hiding that our entire marriage is the subject of a blog that I keep under an alias and that the blog has a large readership. Everything worth mentioning in our marriage goes into the blog and is commented on daily."

2. "I'm hiding the fact that I am having some trouble growing attached to my newborn son... I love him, yes, but I don't feel attached to him."

3. "That I have become an atheist while dating her. She knows that I'm not very religious but she just thinks that I don't like to go to church. Religion is a really big part of her life so I don't think she will take it well. She might even break up with me despite the rest of our relationship being really good. I've tried to tell her a few times but keep chickening out. I hope to tell her when the time is right but until then it isn't too much of a burden to fake it."

4. "That I won't seriously consider the possibility of him being a long-term partner because his mother is awful."

5. "How truly 'not together' my life is. I'm the stable one, the one with a plan, the one with a decent job, the one with bright future prospects, the one without debilitating mental/physical health issues, etc. But in truth, my life is held together with duct tape, alcohol and luck. I'm consistently flying by the seat of my pants and hoping for the best. I need to be her 'sure thing' so she has at least one person in the world she can depend on and some days it's very difficult."

6. "I am still hopelessly in love with my ex-girlfriend. Just typing this makes me feel a bit better though. I don't know how to get over her. I love my girlfriend to death but my ex is always in the back of my mind. I know she's moved on completely, so why cant I?"

7. "I worry she will realize that I'm just an average, mildly attractive 36-year-old divorced father with a middle of the road job. And that she is a drop-dead beautiful 28-year-old with no kids -- a woman who travels the world and constantly gets hit on by much better looking men. She makes more money than me and doesn't need me in her life, but for some reason, she loves me. I'm crazy for her, but not because she is beautiful outside -- it's because she is beautiful inside and cares for me and my 7-year-old daughter more than my ex-wife ever did."

8. "That I smoke weed at least once a week. We've been together over four years and she's still clueless, but sometimes I wish I could just share a bowl with her."

9. "On a business trip last week, I gambled away two weeks' worth of pay. We are both starting school in the fall and saving up for home improvements for our wedding at our house. I resent that her income is about a third of mine and I pay for everything except the phone bill. My savings have been depleted. I saved that money for a car for myself before I met her and now that isn't going to happen."

10. "I'm deployed right now, and it is much more dangerous than I let on."

11. "I'm hiding that I'm terrified and second guessing getting married to him. One reason? He got a DUI under really suspicious circumstances. I don't believe his story, but I tell him I do. He's drinking in excess at home; we've talked about it after I found empty bottles hidden around the house, but it's continuing to happen. He's just gotten better at hiding the bottles, but I still know when he's boozed it up and I don't say anything because I can't find proof."

12. "That I'll never marry him, I love him but I am not proud enough of him as a human being to spend the rest of my life with him."

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Around the Web

Should You Keep Secrets In Relationships? - AskMen

The 10 Secrets of Happy Couples | Psych Central

10 Secrets of Super Happy Couples | Women's Health Magazine

How Keeping Secrets Can Destroy a Romantic Relationship