Most women have to date plenty of Mr. Wrongs before they find Mr. Right -- and even then it's not always readily apparent that he's the real thing. But asking some crucial questions early in the relationship can help separate the right man from all the impostors, says talk show host and author Steve Harvey.
In the above video from "The Oprah Winfrey Show," Harvey, author of the best seller, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, says you can glean all you need to know from your partner's answers to these five questions:
1. What are your short-term goals?
2. What are your long-term goals?
3. What are your views on relationships?
4. What do you think about me?
5. What do you feel about me?
The first question on short-term goals is designed to find out what the man currently has going on in his life. Harvey advises immediately following up with question number 2 -- but with a big caveat.
"[The long-term goals] have to be different from the short-term goals," he says. "If they're not different, you have a guy that's not really planning."
The next question, about relationships, should get to the heart of how a potential Mr. Right interacts with the different people in his life, like his parents. "What's his relationship with his mother?" Harvey says as an example. "If it's non-existent, that's a red flag. If that bond has been tainted or broken, please note: He has no problem tainting or breaking yours."
The fourth question throws Oprah for a loop. "You're supposed to ask, 'What do you think about me?'" she wonders, surprised.
Absolutely, Harvey says. "Now, ladies, listen very carefully. What he thinks about you, he'll gladly tell you. 'I think that you're great, I think you would make a great mother... I think you're very independent, I think you're worthy.' He's going to tell you all of this stuff," he says. "Immediately after that, say, 'Well, how do you feel about me?'"
The answer to that fifth question will be even more telling. "A man that has been thinking about you seriously has an answer for that and it is very different from what he thinks about you," Harvey explains. "'I feel like when I'm not with you, I ain't gonna make it. I feel like you're the one for me...' You may even find these words: 'You know what? I'm in love with you.'"
Harvey also encourages women to let go of the fear and worry of what could happen simply by asking the questions in the first place. "Don't be afraid to ask these questions," he says. "You're not going to run the guy off that really wants you. You can't run us off."