If, like a well-balanced and healthy person, you decided to spend your Presidents Day weekend away from the computer and television, congrats! You are a better human than we are.
But if you care about NBA basketball at all, that probably also means you now want someone to boil down the top moments of NBA All-Star Weekend into a single, succinct post that cuts through all the garbage. Don't worry, we have you covered. Here's what you missed while you were away from your screens.
1. Zach LaVine actually made the dunk contest worth watching for once. The Minnesota Timberwolves rookie is known for his high-flying talents, yet he still managed to surpass the hype.
For those of you without much time, here are all of his dunks in a single Vine:
But to really appreciate just how high this guy can jump, we suggest watching this slow-motion recap:
2. Stephen Curry made 13 consecutive threes to win the 3-point contest. It was his fourth time trying to take home the title, but when he won it, he won it in style. Only one other person has ever hit more consecutive threes during the contest than Curry did Saturday night.
You can watch the full video of Curry's excellence right here.
3. Steve Kerr, head coach of the West All-Stars, drew up a play that basically says everything you need to know about the All-Star game: "I got a great play planned for the first play. So one of you guys get it, and, like, throw it to one of the other guys, and then you throw it to someone else, and then you shoot."
Cue laugh track.
4. Russell Westbrook jumped so high to catch an alley-oop that he hit his head on the backboard. Ouch.
5. LeBron James also caught an alley-oop that looks beautiful in slow motion. Give Kyle Lowry his due for the pass, too.
6. Tim Duncan explained the secret to basketball. Pop is going to be mad that he let the Spurs' secret out.
7. Curry took home the "what was that!?" pass of the game. A magician with the basketball.
8. As well as the "what was that!?" crossover.
9. Dirk Nowitzki caught his first alley-oop since January 2004. That's more than 11 years ago for those too lazy to do some arithmetic.
10. And Kevin Durant told the media they "really don't know shit" about basketball. OK, this isn't a video, but Durant's comments were too great to pass up.