03/03/2015 05:37 pm ET | Updated Mar 03, 2015

Benjamin Netanyahu told Congress that the goal of keeping Iran at bay is a charge of biblical proportions, making it only the 502,743rd thing Republican lawmakers think God wants them to do. David Petraeus pleaded guilty to "removing and retaining" classified material, reminding us of the time some people thought a McDonnell/Petraeus ticket would save the GOP (lulz). And Lindsey Graham made a disparaging comment about Nancy Pelosi’s face, though the amount of money she’ll make fundraising off of that will ensure she won’t have to spend anytime staring at Sheldon Adelson’s face like Graham had to. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Tuesday, March 3rd, 2015:

GOP LEADERSHIP CAVES ON DHS FUNDING, DHS FUNDED - We can't wait for the GOP to punitively run HHS into the ground over the First Lady's "Let's Move!" program. Elise Foley: "The grudge match between Republicans and Democrats over the president's immigration policies and funding the Department of Homeland Security ended Tuesday -- with a win for Democrats. House Republicans approved $39.7 billion in funding for DHS without any measures to block President Barack Obama's executive actions on immigration, which could allow as many as 5 million undocumented immigrants to remain in the country and work for three years. The vote was 257 to 167, with most Republicans voting against the bill. It was the end of a months-long fight, and a loss for the conservative members who vowed to do anything -- even shut down DHS -- to block Obama's immigration policies. Instead, the House ultimately settled for what many observers predicted was the only realistic solution all along: a "clean" DHS funding bill without the sure-to-be-vetoed provisions to block not only the president's most recent actions, but also previous deportation relief policies and long-standing prioritization on deportations." [HuffPost]

Boehner strikes back: "The politically active nonprofit closely tied to Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) is intervening to help the Republican Party leader as he battles conservatives in his own caucus over the passage of appropriations legislation for the Department of Homeland Security. American Action Network, a 501(c)(4) nonprofit that does not disclose its donors, will spend $400,000 this week on television, radio and online advertisements. The ads will urge conservative Republicans to support DHS legislation that does not include a controversial provision reversing President Barack Obama’s executive actions on immigration. As first reported by Politico, the targets of the television ads are Reps. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio), Jim Bridenstine (R-Okla.) and Tim Huelskamp (R-Kan.). Digital ads will also run in the districts of Reps. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), Morgan Griffith (R-Va.), Jody Hice (R-Ga.), Barry Loudermilk (R-Ga.), Raul Labrador (R-Idaho), Mark Meadows (R-N.C.), Mick Mulvaney (R-S.C.), Tom Rice (R-S.C.) and Ted Yoho (R-Fla.)." [HuffPost's Paul Blumenthal]

LINDSEY GRAHAM COMMENTS ON NANCY PELOSI'S FACE - Because she and some other Dems didn't stand up and clap during Bibi's speech. Josh Rogin: "In a private fund-raiser after the speech, Republican Senator Lindsey Graham pointed to Pelosi's behavior as evidence that a Republican majority is better for those who support Israel. 'Did you see Nancy Pelosi on the floor. Complete disgust,' he said, according to one attendee. 'If you can get through all the surgeries, there’s disgust.'" [Bloomberg View]

Hillary Clinton's email has gone rogue.

DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - After Los Angeles police shot and killed an unarmed homeless man on Sunday, Chief Charlie Beck said the man grabbed an officer's holstered gun. Beck said a still image from a video of the incident showed the victim going for the officer's waistband. "It appears that the suspect's hand is reaching for the officer’s waistband in the area where his pistol would be located," Beck said during a press conference on Monday. Police frequently cite reaching for waistbands in the aftermath of shootings by officers, though it's usually people allegedly reaching for their own waistbands, where armed suspects often do conceal guns. The most famous recent unarmed waistband incident may have been the Ferguson, Missouri, police shooting of Michael Brown last year. Click HERE to see a partial list of unarmed police shootings since 2010.

BTW the DOJ has found Ferguson police routinely discriminate against African Americans.

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CONGRESS APPLAUDS NETANYAHU, NETANYAHU ALSO SPEAKS - The Daily Show mashup of Netanyahu saying "deal" should yield some chuckles. Jessica Schulberg: "Capping his most controversial trip to Washington, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu appeared before Congress on Tuesday morning to convince lawmakers that the current trajectory of nuclear negotiations with Iran would not prevent the nation from getting a nuclear bomb, which could ultimately destroy Israel. He told a packed House chamber that the negotiations between Iran and six world powers known as the P5+1 -- the U.S., Russia, China, the United Kingdom, France and Germany -- would inevitably yield an unacceptable deal. 'That deal will not prevent Iran from developing nuclear weapons. It would all but guarantee that Iran gets those weapons, lots of them,' he said As lawmakers escorted him onto the House floor, Netanyahu was greeted by cheers, whistles, and a standing ovation that lasted almost four minutes. Netanyahu stated the moral obligation he felt to speak out about an issue that threatened the state of Israel and the Jewish people. He traced the threat back to biblical times, comparing a 'powerful Persian viceroy named Haman,' who plotted to destroy the Jewish people over 2,000 years ago, to Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. The Jewish Queen Esther ultimately thwarted Haman's plot, according to the Bible, and saved the Jewish people. Netanyahu implied that a modern-day Esther is needed to thwart Iran's nuclear ambitions." [HuffPost]

Today in gratuitously unnecessary pop-culture references by foreign heads of state addressing Congress.

Look, we get that Netanyahu basically runs the place, but this grinds our gears: "Staff for visiting Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Tuesday apparently made themselves right at home while the boss addressed congressional leaders — so much so, in fact, that the decorum-flouting PR operatives ruffled some feathers among the reporting corps. Per a tipster, members of Bibi’s entourage staked out spots in the press gallery overlooking the House chamber and immediately pulled out their laptops to stay on top of the media frenzy. They crossed a line, however, once our spy noticed them cyber-spoon-feeding the fiery oratory to online fans." [Roll Call]

PETRAEUS BETRAYUSES HIMSELF - Ryan Reilly: "Former military commander and CIA Director David Petraeus agreed Tuesday to plead guilty to one misdemeanor count of removing and retaining classified material, admitting to providing his mistress with that material while he headed the CIA. The plea deal, revealed in documents filed in federal court in the Western District of North Carolina, means that Petraeus will likely avoid prison time. Federal prosecutors will ask for two years of probation and a $40,000 fine under the terms of the plea agreement. Petraeus was long believed to have given classified information to Paula Broadwell, a woman he had an affair with who also wrote a biography on the general. According to a court document laying out the factual basis for the plea agreement, Petraeus maintained eight "black books" that contained classified information, including notes from his discussions with President Barack Obama. He provided the books to Broadwell and delivered them to a residence in Washington, D.C., where she was staying in 2011." [HuffPost]

O'MALLEY WON'T SEEK MIKULSKI'S SEAT - Sam Stein: "Sen. Barbara Mikulski's (D) decision to retire after five terms in office set off a wave of speculation about which of the myriad Maryland Democrats would run to replace her. On the top of that list was the state's former Gov. Martin O'Malley, who is eying another run for office and could, theoretically, decide that taking on Hillary Clinton for the presidential nomination is simply too tough a task. Alas, on Tuesday morning, O’Malley released a statement fully ruling out a run in the 2016 Maryland Senate race...With O'Malley absent from the contest, the Democratic primary still stays wide open. Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.) is likely to make a run, an aide told the Washington Post. Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake has been floated as a candidate as well, as have Reps. Donna Edwards, Elijah Cummings and John Sarbanes and U.S. Labor Secretary Thomas Perez." [HuffPost]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Here's a lizard who gets all the ladies.

HUFFINGTON POST EMPLOYEES TRIES TO PROCURE MARIJUANA - We are shocked and have given a stern lecture to our debauched colleagues and have provided them with the appropriate literature. Dana Liebelson: "I wanted the holy grail:Legal weed. After the District's law legalizing possession of limited quantities of marijuana went into effect last week, I decided that attending the ComfyTree Cannabis Convention with my colleague Ryan J. Reilly, who reported on the first major cannabis industry convention in Colorado last summer, would be the perfect opportunity to get some advice on finding it. My quest did not go well. Marijuana enthusiasts and budding entrepreneurs convened at a hotel just down the street from the U.S. Capitol this past weekend to explore business opportunities and swap advice about the new law. As attendees mingled in a convention room filled with bongs, vaporizers, pot-themed swag and the distinct smell of cannabis, many expressed confusion over how the marijuana business would fare in the District of Columbia...Nobody at the convention was selling weed, but they were selling plenty of products you could use with pot. Attendees milled around booths offering marijuana testing products, air filters, grow lights and the latest in vaporizer technology. Speakers also discussed the pot business at a number of sessions. But questions about the law, ranging from carding for paraphernalia to selling cannabis-infused massage oils, bedeviled conferencegoers." [HuffPost]


- Weasel riding a woodpecker
is, one prays, not fake

- Because human history isn't complete without a Jean-Claude Van Damme/My Little Pony mashup.

- The 2015 Oscars without dialogue.


@pourmecoffee: Stop searching for terrible people who said something terrible about the Netanyahu speech to embed in your terrible article.

@igorbobic: In 2032, President Chelsea Clinton comes under fire for not saving official snapchats: “But that’s not the way it worked back then!"

@timothypmurphy: everyone kept talking about Netanyahu's peach, and I had no idea what they meant..

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