DEA Warns Of Stoned Rabbits If Utah Passes Medical Marijuana

03/03/2015 01:39 am ET | Updated Mar 03, 2015

Where would this country be if Peter Cottontail got cottonmouth?

Matt Fairbanks, an agent with the Drug Enforcement Administration's "marijuana eradication" team in Utah, testified to a state Senate panel last week, and said rabbits could get addicted to pot, lose their natural instincts and sit around getting high all the time should a bill pass that would allow medical marijuana edibles in the state.

Fairbanks testified in opposition to the bill, and spent some of his testimony splitting hares, according to The Washington Post. He claimed that illegal pot farms could have bad environmental consequences, and said he saw rabbits addicted to weed at illegal grow sites.

"I deal in facts. I deal in science," Fairbanks said at the hearing (48-minute mark).

"One of them refused to leave us, and we took all the marijuana around him, but his natural instincts to run were somehow gone," he added.

Washington Post reporter Christopher Ingraham wrote that illegal pot grows can indeed harm the environment, but noted that those consequences aren't unique to weed.

Ingraham noted:

Now, regarding rabbits. Some wild animals apparently do develop a taste for bud (and, yes, best to keep it away from your pets). But I don't know that the occasional high rabbit constitutes grounds for keeping marijuana prohibition in place, any more than drunk squirrels are an argument for outlawing alcohol. And let's not even get started on the nationwide epidemic of catnip abuse.

Fairbanks' "marijuana eradication" colleagues were reportedly in the news lately when they mistook okra for marijuana in Georgia and brought in the big guns.

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