The women of Twitter are having a rough week. Audrey Farnsworth was definitely struggling when she tweeted, "Every day I accidentally play a game called 'what's the stupidest sentence I can say to another human person today.'" We totally feel you.
Allison Raskin was not in the mood, tweeting, "You know those people who are emotionally shut down and closed off? They've really got it figured out." Ugh, truth.
For more great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
No thanks, therapy I'll just keep seeking validation from strangers on the Internet.
— Annee (@Annekinns) March 2, 2015
Sure sex is good but have you ever had someone scratch your back for a long time.
— Raspberry Jam (@Jenny4ashley) March 1, 2015
There's 4 sides to every story...
Mine, his, the alcohols and my ex-mother-in-laws
— Tammy (@OkieGirl405) March 2, 2015
Get his attention by writing all your texts like BuzzFeed headlines.
— Hot Breakfast (@amydillon) March 2, 2015
You know those people who are emotionally shut down and closed off? They've really got it figured out.
— Allison Raskin (@Allison620) March 6, 2015
"What do you think Hillary Clinton's email is? hillz4realz@aol? " -- @Xtina_Anderson
— Jessica Samakow (@jsam1126) March 4, 2015
What I am learning is that literally every woman who hit puberty during or after 1992 has extremely sexual feelings about the film Newsies.
— Katie Coyle (@krcoyle) March 5, 2015
If you could invite 3 famous people living or dead to a dinner party, STOP HAVING DINNER PARTIES AND USE THOSE POWERS FOR GOOD
— sarah_haskins (@sarah_haskins) March 2, 2015
hoping my boss reads that last "go tit!" email as "got it!"
— Kendra Cunningham (@kendracomedy) March 6, 2015
if you see me walking down the streets of nyc muttering to myself, don't worry... just practicing my TED Talk.
— Monica Lewinsky (@MonicaLewinsky) March 6, 2015
DONT YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME WHILE IM MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH YOUR DOG
— Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) March 2, 2015
Tell me more about how the barista misspelled your name.
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) March 5, 2015
*finds message in bottle* "NEW BOTTLE WHO DIS"
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) March 4, 2015
Hinder: an app that locates available singles nearby who will stall your life in some significant way
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 5, 2015
Water in a wineglass; that's fun. Could you also bring me my arch nemesis in the body of an adorable baby?
— erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) March 6, 2015
"By the way, I never really liked you," she said, as the door of the spaceship closed.
— Karen (Tozzi) (@karentozzi) March 4, 2015
my life is that moment in a romcom when he lists all the annoying things i do but he never gets to the "but i love you anyways" part
— Kelgore Trout (@KelgoreTrout) February 28, 2015
Is making the jerkoff motion at every phone call and email I get at work considered cardio?
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 4, 2015
Every day I accidentally play a game called "what's the stupidest sentence I can say to another human person today"
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) March 5, 2015
A poem is the most beautiful way to tell someone you're pretentious.
— (maura) (@behindyourback) March 3, 2015