COMEDY
03/09/2015 04:32 pm ET | Updated Mar 10, 2015

11 Unhealthy Things That Are Actually Salad In Disguise

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Looking to shed those winter pounds? Boy, do we have the diet for you.

This diet has one simple rule: Just eat salads. We know, we know, salads are boring. But if you use some creative thinking and look at your food a little bit differently, we promise you're going to come to love salads. Check out the guidelines:

  • Pizza? Salad.
    Twitter
    See?
  • Bacon? Salad.
    Don't argue with us.
  • Beer? Also salad.
    It's the transitive property, or something.
  • We have multiple sources reporting on this logic.
    And confirmation that, yes, this is healthy.
  • Poutine? Salad.
    We see vegetables and dressing. CHECK!
  • Chocolate? Salad.
    Salad for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, please!
  • Bloody Mary? We think you mean Celery, Pickle & Tomato Salad.
    And yes, the pizza also counts.
  • Wine? Salad.
    Ah, fruit salad! Another healthy option.
  • Fried Chicken? Salad.
    This salad just screams 'Merica.
  • Vodka? Yep, it's salad.

    Dinner is served.

    A photo posted by betches (@betches) on

    Twitter
    We put all our trust in MominFlorida.
  • Chocolate, Marshmallows and Peanuts? SALAD.
    Hell yeah, that's a salad.

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