If there's ever a time you need a little distraction in your life, it's during the divorce process. That's why we launched our Divorce Care Package series. With each post, we'll show you what things -- books, movies, recipes -- helped others relieve stress in the midst of divorce, in the hopes that a few of their picks will serve you well, too. Want to share what got you through your divorce? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @HuffPost Divorce
The darkest days of Leah Porritt's divorce are behind her now. The school behavior specialist is remarried and recently worked up the courage to blog about what she's learned from co-parenting her child with her ex.
Still, Porritt admits things weren't always so smooth sailing. Those first initial weeks and months after the separation were downright rough. Below, the blogger shares seven things that made life a little more bearable during that time.
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"My favorite quote after my separation is easy to pick: 'Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.' It was easy to get stuck on trying to understand why I gave so many years of my life to a marriage that ended. Or trying to understand why I married that person in the first place. I saw this quote once and jotted it down in my planner. It became my mantra, as I stopped trying to understand why things happened the way they did and resigned myself to the simple belief that I was meant to be my son’s momma. And given the choice, I would do it all over again for the simple outcome of creating a little human who is exactly who he is."
"I have pictures of my kids everywhere. My home, my desk at work, my wallet, my daily planner. This was no different during my divorce but I sure did look at them a lot more. Whenever I needed a reminder of everything that was good in the world, I looked at my son’s smiling little face. During a complicated, emotional and tough situation, his smile and love was uncomplicated and about as real as you can get. It always made me feel better."
"People can say what they want but I’ve always been a bit obsessed with Taylor Swift. I listened to her first few albums a lot during my divorce. 'Breath' when I needed that exact reminder, 'Picture to Burn' or 'Mean' when I was just pissed off (along with some assorted Eminem). Although the story lines weren’t necessarily always relatable, the emotions behind the songs were. Too bad 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' wasn’t out yet, huh?"
"I’ve been a runner since high school. It was a huge part of my life throughout high school, college and even beyond. I had stopped running for a couple years after I had my son, but started up again during my divorce. Besides the wonderful distraction of my son, running was my outlet. Some may use running as a time to think and reflect; I used it as the opposite -- it was the only time I could get my mind to turn off and forget about everything for a little while."
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"I read a lot about co-parenting and divorce during that time: Books, articles, blogs -- anything I could find, really. I wanted other perspectives and ideas about how to make co-parenting work both through divorce and beyond. Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy T. Behary, LCSW was one of my favorites. Although not directly related to co-parenting it was hugely helpful in learning how to deal with certain personality traits. And when I got sick of all the serious stuff, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir (recommended to me by my sister) simply because it’s random, hysterical, perfectly real and doesn’t really have anything to do with co-parenting or divorce at all. Sometimes you just need a break."
"This is kind of embarrassing, but I have a Froot Loops addiction. I try to keep it in check most of the time, but it can get a little out of hand during certain stressful situations -- like when I’m pregnant, during the winter months of being cooped up inside… and during a divorce. No joke, I can finish a box in one day. And if it’s the kind with marshmallows? Well, just forget it -- my plan is to put in some time with a bowl of Froot Loops that day. I’m not going to say how many boxes of these I went through over the duration of my separation, but let’s just say I contributed a good amount of money toward Kellogg’s during that time period. You're welcome, Kellogg's."
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"Going through a divorce can be a very lonely process. I was lucky enough to have a couple close friends who really made an effort to be there for me, listen to me and try to understand what I was going through. One of these friends had been through a divorce herself and it was so important that I had someone who could relate to what was happening. Another friend I leaned on has never been through a divorce but she knows me like no one else, simply because we have been friends for the majority of our lives. She was there to coach me through it all. As hard as it was at times to have to talk about the divorce, I found it so necessary and helpful to be able to reach out to these two women during that time."
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