Will Wallace the Mad King be a fair and just ruler? Or will he hop jarringly from one decree to the other? How will he ensure hay quotas are met?
These are the questions Wallace the rabbit's owner should have asked before handing over the keys to the Seven Kingdoms.
Alas, the mad king now sits atop the
Iron Carrot Throne, holding tight to power. We think "Game of Thrones" author George RR Martin would be proud.
King Geoffrey is dead.
All hail Wallace the Mad King!
In an email to The Huffington Post, King Wallace explained -- presumably via his owner -- that his owner's boyfriend constructed the throne for him in addition to a cardboard replica of the Red Keep (the primary castle in King's Landing, capitol city of the Seven Kingdoms), which he lived in for several months.
"Unfortunately in both instances my hunger for power (and carrots... and for chewing up cardboard) proved to be my downfall," writes "Wallace." "I totally lost control and destroyed everything."
"For the subjects of mine who are concerned that I may have actually eaten the entire throne, rest assure that I did not." Wallace continued. "Carrots are like a dessert for rabbits and so after I nibbled on it for a bit my owners did the lion's share of the eating. As I watched my throne slip from my grasp, the carrots turned to ashes in my mouth."
Per the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, carrots are indeed high in sugar and should only be fed to rabbits in small amounts as an occasional treat.
This story has been updated with comments from King Wallace.