The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Autocorrect better define "cluster duck" for me if it's gonna keep changing my words.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) April 22, 2015
Do people who drive minivans know they're allowed to drive the same speed as the rest of us?
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) April 22, 2015
I thought I was in love with a guy once, but it turns out I was just drinking too much 5-Hour Energy.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) April 22, 2015
every once in a while you realize you're the susie carmichael in the friendship just putting up with some angelica bullshit
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) April 21, 2015
Rejecting the term "lady blog" in favor of the more palatable "cuntent," please adjust correspondence accordingly
— Haley Mlotek (@haleymlotek) April 20, 2015
A woman is less likely to avoid eye contact in the dildo aisle of a sex store than she is standing in line at Forever21
— Colette McIntyre (@calledcolette) April 21, 2015
Adulthood begins on the morning you fold the cereal bag instead of just smushing it down into the box.
— Chloe Angyal, PhD (@ChloeAngyal) April 22, 2015
Everything changed for me when I saw someone's motivational meme on Instagram.
— Erica Rhodes (@ericarhodes) April 21, 2015
Seriously if I were a rapper I'd brag about being able to buy name brand cereal & orange juice.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) April 18, 2015
Something I enjoy thinking about while watching Game of Thrones is how many people are getting paid to fall off horses
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) April 20, 2015
Earth Day is just a ploy by corporations to sell more Earths.
— Yael (@elle91) April 22, 2015
Charles Darwin's survival of the fittest is best defined as follows: scores of my ancestors fought to survive so I could one day tweet crap.
— bourgeois beth (@bourgeoisalien) April 21, 2015
Me: I'm definitely over him
— moody monday (@mdob11) April 19, 2015
99% sure there's a circle of hell where you try to teach your parents how to use FaceTime OVER AND OVER for eternity.
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) April 22, 2015
Every morning I find myself staring into the bottom of my coffee cup & pondering the important questions.
Questions like "Why am I awake?"
— NotTHATSheila (@peb671) April 23, 2015
Be the Nicki Minaj verse you wish to see in the world.
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) April 23, 2015
At this point I think the stray cats having sex under my deck are just doing it to mock me.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) April 23, 2015
turns out I do have feelings, which I learned right after finding out McDonald's was serving breakfast all day today at select locations.
— Mickey Mt. Vernon (@WhatevaConc) April 20, 2015
Every day that I don't set my pants on fire from my thighs rubbing together is a good god damn day.
— The Eh Factor (@AngelaEhh) April 22, 2015
Trying to live healthier, so I started exercising today.
I THOUGHT about exercising today.
I SAW someone exercise once.
— NotTHATSheila (@peb671) April 21, 2015
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