Recently, HuffPost Love+Sex podcast hosts Carina Kolodny and Noah Michelson dove headfirst into the world of sugar dating, where, typically, successful older men (and sometimes women) -- a.k.a. sugar daddies or sugar mamas -- pay for dates (and often sex) with younger women (and sometimes men) -- a.k.a. sugar babies:
One of the sugar babies they spoke with, Tessla Coil, a Princeton graduate who is currently at work on a book, offered candid details about her dating life. Below are seven tips from Tess for anyone considering becoming a sugar baby. Check them out -- and the full HuffPost Love+Sex podcast on sugar dating above.
1. It's best to get to know your date before doing anything else. "I ask a lot of getting to know you questions. It’s good to get those factual things out there so you can understand what they’re in it for. Once there is a rapport, we see if we’ll get along. Maybe a kiss at the end."
2. Married men are good customers. "They’re more interested in discretion in terms of secrecy and set aside time for this particular activity."
3. Keep your standards high. “Calm down. Take your time. Find people that treat you well that you like. They’re there, you just have to spend more time looking.”
4. It's more than sex. "It’s a little more up front with sex work [than sugar dating]: the idea that you’re exchanging dollars for sexual pleasure in some way. The thing about sugar dating is that it’s truly dating most of the time. It has a different name because it’s a different thing -- people are paying for time and attention, more than just sex. I think it’s a distinction without a difference."
5. But... a sugar baby relationship will probably include sex. "Sex is probably an expectation. There are some people that just want to pay for my time. Like I have a friend or a client who just pays me to talk on the phone, like I’m his life coach but I wouldn’t call that one a sugar dating relationship."
6. Your parents may not like it. "My parents were NOT happy and they don’t know that I’m still doing it but I think that’s because they don’t want to know."
7. You don't have to keep it a secret. "I was realizing that keeping secrets was feeding my own insecurities and self-hatred. So now when people ask what you do, I say, 'writing a book and for money, dating guys.' [I get] lots of interesting reactions. People are usually just curious and respond with “oh cool -- wish I could do that” or “oh cool.”
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