POLITICS

It's Super Significant That Hillary Clinton Wore Green Three Times, According To Keen Analytic Mind

06/08/2015 03:07 pm ET | Updated Jun 08, 2015
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Green is a pretty nice color that's often associated with money, and grass, and Boston Celtics-themed bar mitzvahs. So what does it mean that former secretary of state and current presidential aspirant Hillary Clinton wore some green-colored clothing on a handful of occasions? Answer: It potentially means everything. Right? I mean ... it does, doesn't it?

The reason I ask is because in the middle of a 1,500-word piece titled "Scandals Only Make The Clintons Stronger," written for Politico by former George W. Bush speechwriter Matt Latimer, there is a 100-word discursion on a handful of times that Hillary Clinton wore green. Apparently, this hints at some kind of cagey master plan on Hillary Clinton's part, instead of a situation in which someone says, "Hey, big day today, what's clean to wear? Oh, this green thing will do nicely, I guess."

Many editors advise their charges to "murder their darlings." The concept here is that sometimes, a writer's craft is undone by unnecessary tangents. The writer might labor over these sections with zeal and intensity, but they are ultimately a distraction that hurts the larger work. For example: My editor will probably ask me to murder this darling. Too late, though! I've made it germane.

Well, Latimer has apparently been edited by some sort of deeply committed darling-saver. Perhaps even one who considers himself or herself to be the Oskar Schindler of darlings. "Whoever saves one darling," this editor thought, "saves the world of darlings entire." And so this darling was allowed to escape, unharmed, into the world. Fly, darling, fly:

Has anyone else noticed that Hillary Clinton is suddenly wearing a lot of green? And no, not green like the color of money. Just a vivid, eye-popping, deep hue.

She wore green at her Benghazi hearing and when she went to Iowa right after announcing for president. As Secretary of State, she memorably wore green at a G-12 summit.

I mention this because there is little that the Clintons do, at least in the presidential context, that is unplanned. These are people, after all, who infamously polled where they should vacation.

Hillary Clinton’s team is very proud of their efforts to portray their boss as confident, calm, and soothing—like a pastoral green meadow, perhaps?

The reason this comes up is because Latimer wants to direct Republicans' attention to the fact that the Clintons frequently weather controversy, and that they will need to approach Hillary differently this time if they "actually decide to win an election for a change without waiting for the Clintons to totally implode." Observing the fact that Clinton has worn green on three occasions is thus offered by Latimer as a "pointer." The good news, for Republicans, is that this pointer comes free of charge. The bad news is that if it were a half-decent pointer, Latimer would have charged for it, like any political operative worth his salt.

But wait, maybe we should ponder the significance of green for a minute. Here goes.

Hillary probably wants to play to the center, right? As it happens, green is at the center of the colors commonly associated with the rainbow. There's even an acronym -- ROYGBIV. Yeah, see, Hillary wants her campaign to play to ROY, without alienating BIV! And so she's in the stable middle as "G." And "G." Let's see. According to Thomas Piketty, R > G. The rate of return on capital is greater than the economic growth rate. Hmmmm. By identifying with "G," Clinton is sending a subtle message to Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) supporters: "I am with you. Look to the green frock in the afternoon. You will find me, clad within."

Yes, as mysterious master plans go, this "wear a green thing every so often" is definitely the work of some strategic genius, playing eleventh-dimensional chess. And yet, "just use the email account the State Department provided" probably would have been a smarter course of action.

Green, though! GREEN. Think about it. Don't stop thinking about it. If you stop, your brain might start working. And what then? What then!?

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