06/09/2015 07:00 am ET | Updated Sep 23, 2015

14 Passive-Aggressive Things To Buy Your Lazy-Ass Roommate

Nothing says "You disgust me" more emphatically than the exasperated sigh-meets-eyeroll unleashed the instant you walk into your shared kitchen to find a week-old, cheese-encrusted plate growing mold.

Sigh no more, darling. You've dealt with the filth and the grime and the hair and the nasty habits long enough, you poor roommate victim. Invest in a few of these passive-aggressive products and say, "You disgust me and you need to change," without uttering a word or straining an eyeball. Plus, everyone loves presents!

  • A cozy set of dusting slippers.
    Your dainty roommate is always complaining about cold toes, so why not gift him with a handsome pair of dusting slippers? He'll be able to glide across the floors while simultaneously erradicating all of those unwelcome dust bunnies. You're terribly thoughtful.

  • An instructional dishwasher spinny majig.
    It's apparently really taxing to decipher whether or not the contents of the dishwasher are clean. In the past, your roommate thought it was best to let dishes pile in the sink while mystery dishes sat clean (or dirty?) in the machine. This stunning accessory will signify whether the dishwasher should be loaded or unloaded, and everyone will be really happy about it.

    $9.78, Amazon
  • A wine glass/sippy cup hybrid.
    The Product Farm
    There is a red wine stain on the taupe couch and it stares you in the eyes every time you enter the living room. This tumbler should prevent further atrocities. When your roommates ask why all of their stem glasses have been replaced with these to-go cups, simply respond, "Wine not?"

    $12.99, The Product Farm
  • This talking toilet paper holder
    Record a gentle reminder for dear roomie by leaving a message at the end of the roll. If she is an auditory learner, this'll help her remember to replace the toilet paper, so everyone can wipe peacefully.

    $19.99, Amazon
  • A waterproof notepad to count the number of times you've removed hair from the shower drain.
    Why do your best ideas always come in the shower? Why can't your roommate not leave a nest of hair all over the tub? Some questions are more existential than others, but sometimes it is the solution, not the question, that matters most.

    $7.17, Amazon
  • These inspirational coasters.
    The Keep Calm-O-Matic
    Avoid staining your table with those pesky water rings while saying everything you've been wanting to say for all of this time.

    $24.95, The Keep Calm-O-Matic
  • This colorful book for your coffee table.
    Cheer up your communal space with this brightly colored coffee table book. It'll be a joy to page through together when someone's Netflix account gets hacked and someone finally says "Excuse me" when she releases a ghastly burp.

    $10.48, Amazon
  • A super cute chore chart!
    Nothing is more rewarding than a gold star. The dishes will be washed, the garbage will be taken out and you and your roommate will share nothing but smiles!

    $19.95, Amazon
  • This nostalgia-inducing relic from your childhood.
    Ahh, look what you found in your childhood bedroom when you were home visiting your parents. (No, that's not a price sticker!) Remember the Berenstain Bears? Oh, what timeless lessons they taught us.

    $4.99, Amazon
  • A bulk order of Febreeze.
    If 9 bottles of air freshener don't send the message, play Lynyrd Skynyrd's "That Smell" every time your roommate comes home after a long, hard day of not bathing.

    $28.08, Sam's Club
  • This special throne decal.
    Spruce up the side of the toilet seat that rarely gets aesthetic attention while making sure you don't fall in ... again.

    $1.75, Amazon
  • A stunning plastic couch cover.
    This product is a total #TBT and will give your apartment that retro look you've been after all this time. Plus, your roommate will definitely enjoy continuing his habit of dipping chips in queso without using a plate.

    $29.95, Amazon
  • This mug that'll eliminate any confusion the kitchen.
    There are many, many, many, many mugs in your kitchen. This one does not belong to your roommate, and she knows it.

    $12.99, Amazon
  • This waterproof safe.
    It's very sad when you reach the end of your scented body wash. It's even sadder when someone else finishes it off for you. Lock your toiletries in this waterproof safe to confirm you're the only one benefiting from the urge to herbal.

    $29.87, Amazon


9 Dirty Things In Your Home You Probably Haven’t Been Cleaning