A memo to Trinidad and Tobago's Network Television 6: Cancel any daytime TV dramas you had planned. Jack Warner has you covered.
The indicted former FIFA vice president (and gullible Onion reader) lashed out Thursday at comedian John Oliver. In an address of his own on TV6 on Tuesday, Oliver had urged Warner to follow through on his promise of releasing an "avalanche" of damning information about the embattled global soccer organization.
What stands out most from Warner's response, however, has nothing to do with what he said (though he's clearly a fan of the phrase, "Heaven help us"), and everything to do with dramatic background music.
"I don't need any advice from any comedian fool," Warner says a minute into the video, referring to the infomercial Oliver ran earlier this week, as the startling music starts to peak in the background. "I take no instructions from him."
"All I can say is heaven help us," Warner adds shortly thereafter, for the second time in under three minutes. All the while, dramatic music -- oh, the music -- continues to play.
Jack, can we be real for a minute? Did you steal this soundtrack from "Requiem for a Dream"?
No? Because it's time to face the music.