How This Divorced Mama Got Her 'Swagger' Back Post-Split

06/25/2015 01:54 pm ET | Updated Jun 25, 2015
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If there's ever a time you need a little distraction in your life, it's during the divorce process. That's why we launched our Divorce Care Package series. With each post, we'll show you what things -- books, movies, recipes -- helped others relieve stress in the midst of divorce, in the hopes that a few of their picks will serve you well too. Want to share what got you through your divorce? Email us at divorce@huffingtonpost.com or tweet @HuffPost Divorce

For a long time, Rosemond Perdue Cranner was on a very good streak: she had a job in the entertainment industry ("Don't get too excited, it sounds way more glamorous and exciting than it was") and was busy raising her sweet baby girl with her husband.

Then, it all fell apart.

"I became unemployed, my husband and I separated and just about everyone in my family who loved me decided to die. Fun times," she told The Huffington Post.

Eventually, Rosemond bounced back with gusto. Below, the Round and Round Rosie blogger shares some of the distractions that helped her move past the darkest days of her split.

  • The Song
    Daily Motion

    "'Back In Black' by AC/DC was everything. That hard driving beat and those don’t-count-me-out lyrics -- 'Cause I’m back, Yes, I’m back in black' -- energized me and gave mama back her swagger. (And believe me, any woman getting divorced over the age of 40 needs all the swagger she can summon.) I’d listen to 'Back In Black' while putting on makeup and getting ready to go out. That song literally screams powerful, bulletproof and damned sexy!"
  • The Mantra
    Rosemond Perdue Cranner
    "A friend bought me a small stone with the saying, 'It is what it is' etched into it. That phrase reminded me to accept what was happening and to not dwell on the things I couldn’t change. Most importantly, it reminded me to move on. On difficult days, I’d carry that stone in my pocket as a secret reminder to accept all the uncertainty and move on."
  • The Motivational Treat
    milanfoto via Getty Images
    "Champagne and gummy bears! When I first got divorced I was so depressed, I had to find a way to make myself actually get out of my bathrobe and do all the things that functional grownups need to do. So I devised a reward. If I showered, put on real clothes and left the house, I’d give myself an extra special treat. Once my daughter was asleep, I’d open a single serve bottle of cheap champagne and a package of Haribo gummy bears. I'd sit on the tiny twin bed in my guest-room and have my own little party of champagne and gummy bears. I'd toast the fact that I’d done my mom jobs and made it through another day. Using candy as a reward works well with toddlers, and oddly enough seems to motivate middle-aged women in a divorce, too. Hey, whatever works."
  • The Movie
    "I’d always loved this movie starring Bill Murray as an obsessive, panicky psychotherapy patient who’s so freaked out his therapist is going on vacation that he follows him. But in order to follow along, Bob has to do things that terrify him like leaving the city, riding a bus and sailing on a boat. Bob encourages himself to keep going with the reminder, 'Baby steps, take baby steps.' This movie, and Bob’s phrase, reminded me that although I was scared, I could do anything by 'baby stepping' my way there."
  • The Distraction
    Rosemond Perdue Cranner
    "I don’t even want to call it journaling because that makes it sound so intentional and serious. It was basically scrawling all my mental backwash -- fears, thoughts, worries -- onto paper. I’d buy cheap student composition books at the grocery store and fill them up. Sometimes it was a to-do list. Sometimes I drew pictures or some days it was nothing more than deep angry lines scribbled over the pages. It was cheap therapy. I’ve saved all those journals. It’s inspiring now to look back at the entries I wrote during the darkest of times and realize how far I’ve come."

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