WOMEN

Jilted Bride Penned The World's Most Depressing eBay Listing

06/19/2015 05:58 pm ET | Updated Jun 21, 2015

Wedding dresses for sale on eBay are a dime a dozen. But this listing is different -- this woman's dress has a sob story to tell.

"Rejected wedding dress seeks lasting love and holy matrimony," a UK listing that went up earlier this week reads. From there, the dress takes the reins and spins its sad, sad tale.

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"I was supposed to be worn at City Hall in New York," the size 8 ivory lace Diane von Furstenberg number says. "I was going to be the main attraction of a 60s wedding theme. I was going to be low-key, but elegant (I still am, for that matter)."

But then the owner and her Brooklyn-based hubby-to-be ended their relationship -- and things began looking pretty dismal for the dress. "She kept me in the box. Because she couldn’t bear to look at me. I am a constant reminder to her of what could have been. So she wants to sell me."

Oof, you're killing us, little DVF dress.

According to Metro, the would-be-bride behind the listing is a 30-year-old British woman who wishes to remain unnamed. Read her ad in its holy-God-that's-depressing entirety below:

I was supposed to be worn at City Hall in New York.

I was going to be the main attraction of a 60s wedding theme.

I was going to be low-key, but elegant (I still am, for that matter).

I was going to complement a 60s updo, nude courts and a bouquet of Lily of the Valley.

When my owner put on a dress just like me in Selfridges, she knew I was the one so she ordered me online and had me delivered to her husband-to-be in Brooklyn.

I’m not over the top, nor am I too dressed down, and she thought she could perhaps wear me to other occasions in the future.

She thought I was a dress she could look back on and smile, not cringe at fashion faux pas (she was right).

When I arrived, she kept me sealed in my box so nothing could ruin me.

Then they split up.

And she kept me in the box.

Because she couldn’t bear to look at me.

I am a constant reminder to her of what could have been.

So she wants to sell me.

Not necessarily to a bride, but to anyone looking to give me the home I deserve.

A home where I’ll get worn and admired and dry-cleaned (as and when necessary).

She can’t take me back to DVF because they no longer stock me.

I’m limited edition, if you like.

And the first time I have been taken out of my box is for these photos.

Because who’s going to buy a dress based on a picture of a box?

I can’t wait to be worn by you (and to see the back of my cardboard confines once and for all).

Love,
Zarita (in Ivory).
xx

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