On Wednesday, the who's-who of the NBA engaged in emoji-based warfare on Twitter. After coveted free agent center DeAndre Jordan reportedly started having second thoughts about leaving the Los Angeles Clippers for the Dallas Mavericks, key members of both teams shared their plans to race down to Jordan's home in Houston, Texas, via THE ALMIGHTY EMOJI.
For the first time in NBA history -- perhaps sports history -- online emoji usage had actual ramifications. The Cleveland Cavaliers, Golden State Warriors and even Kobe Bryant, sensing the absurdity of it all, got involved too, tweeting their own emojis because who the hell doesn't love an emoji battle?
Answer: No one. And Wednesday night, ESPN Sports Business Reporter Darren Rovell tweeted out a chart of the definitive emojis for some of the top NBA players of all time (and Luke Ridnour).
Most of these are pretty self-explanatory, depending on your level of expertise with Internet jargon and NBA nickname history.
Michael Jordan is the Greatest Of All-Time (GOAT), Wilt Chamberlain is famous for his 100-point game and Derrick Rose's last name is literally already an emoji.
A few of the player to emoji conversions are far less obvious to understand though, so let's work through them:
Jerry West ™ is the NBA's official logo, which is trademarked.
Dominique Wilkins 🎥 earned the nickname "The Human Highlight Film" for his dunking prowess.
Spud Webb 🍤 was one of the NBA's shortest players at 5-foot-7. Shrimp are small.
Luke Ridnour ♻️ was traded four times last week, making him the NBA's most recyclable asset -- er, player.
Larry Johnson 👵 earned the "Grandmama" nickname because of this 1993 Converse commercial, which Johnson himself has mixed feelings about.
Gary Payton 👋 was nicknamed "The Glove" (a name eventually bestowed upon his glove-like signature sneaker with Nike) by his cousin, who told him during the 1993 Western Conference Finals against the Phoenix Suns: "You're holding Kevin Johnson like a baseball in a glove." Unfortunately, there's no glove emoji, so the waving hand will have to do.
Based on yesterday's events, here are a few NBA emoji suggestions:
Mark Cuban 😡
DeAndre Jordan 🙀
UNRELATED BONUS: Sam Cassell 👽
